Leviticus

It occurred to me I am imbalanced. I know a lot about certain Bible stories and basically nothing about other. So I have decided to go through the whole Bible with commentary. I figured I may as well attack some of the ones often avoided. So I am studying Leviticus. What I have found is that it too, is to show relationship with God.

The New American Commentary, the first part of Leviticus focuses on how to worship God, but the last part is how He wants to be with us. Often Western, "modern" thinking man forgets the whole Bible is a love story. God constantly wants relationships. He seeks communion with us. Often we may get discouraged trying to read and understand the Old Testament: but it is a testament. It testifies that a loving God follows his people at all times. That's good news!

Get Focused

My house is a mess. I am tearing down all my things from Christmas and I have a lot of things. What happens is that my place is a mess.

Lately I have been so frustrated because I seem never to have enough time. I spent a lot of time praying recently that God would help me to see how to better manage my life. I just don't have the time I need. And what happened is that God helped me to see I need to get more organized.

Now, that organizing is happening as I remove old stuff to start the new year with lots of clean and order. It is work, but the reward is worth the effort.

I think it is the same with my Christian experience. Maybe I need to remove things that take away my focus on Godly things. Worthless reading? Not being organized? Shopping for things I don't need?

I want to be a Christian that is at her tops: and sometimes that means cleaning house of wasted time, and energy. Focus on eternal things I am thinking.

Your Peace

Yuck, is this Christmas?

This is my house before the Christmas party....not too pretty.

Why am I posting this? Because it is OK to feel overwhelmed. If your plate is too busy, it is OK to say so. Don't' feel sad to have a real life. My house was nasty and it took a long time to get ready. I am good at being my worst enemy though. "Why don't I get more done? Where have I used my time...".

Sometimes my plans are put down and fail. It's OK to be disappointed. I think the important thing is what you do with the disappointments. Self pity is an illness. It becomes easy to become the victim. On the other hand, I think Christian's can become a bit too "holy". We won't allow ourselves to grieve, feel frustrated when it is totally natural. We feel shame to say, "I'M FRUSTRATED!" We feel it is some how not holy or against God.

God had all emotions. Today, if your house is looking like this picture and you love order- its OK to be human. God loves us as we are. Take time to sit with Jesus. He does not care about the order of your home as much as He care about you. Let Him embrace you and your desires: He desires peace-your peace.

Serve in Love

Recently I had a party for our churche's shelter. I had only five guests and was told I would have 20. I was a bit frustrated. I had spent the time and money to have a nice party for them. It seemed the party was rather a flop. The games went to fast, there were few guests and I was wondering why I had spent so much time and money on what appeared to be a pretty fruitless adventure.

But if I think of it, that is not the point. I imagine Jesus could have felt that way too. Why had he bothered to visit such a unappreciative world? And God the Father, he sent his son to a world which rejected him.

Kindness, is not about receiving warm "fuzzies" for self . It is about doing good. I hope that my few guests had a good time. I hope this made their holiday a bit happier. My duty is not to feel good. It is to serve in love.

Running

Running...always running. It seems I am always running after my toddler. She is never busy and by herself she has no playmates...so guess who has to fill in the spaces. Sometimes it seems overwhelming and I call out in frustration to God. Then he sends the little gifts: my husband taking her for an hour, the friend who smiles. The fact educational T.V. is on and she is dancing with Burt. These are safe and happy places.

Sometimes, we need to look for happy places and enjoy the moments. I believe God sends them daily. We have to open our eyes to see them.

Today may I find happy.

It's The Daily Blessings

I am anxious to curl up in the livingroom with a book. It is late at night but I am awake. It has been a stressful day but now I am at peace.

I am so thankful for moments like these: quiet time with God.

Today was an unusual day for me. Stress headache 10 hours. I was not really feeling sorry for myself but I was tired of the day, stress and general fear that was driving me on. Yet, as evening came: it began my Sabbath. Which, for me is a time of peace. I took off to see my Mother and Father with my granddaughter strapped in her car seat. I listened to Christian Christmas music driving to see my parents. I watched the sun go down and it was lovely. I saw Christmas lights, wonderful contrast of dark hills and blue/ orange sky. At my parents house I curled up and watched their Christmas decorations; and my granddaughter playing with my them. My headache finally released its self and I just counted my blessings.

A family, a safe place to go, Christmas lights, warmth, peace of my granddaughter. The list kept grown and I realized: once again, I have so many blessings. Tonight, in the dark: I will be at peace. For even in dark times, God still puts joy around us. And I am counting those blessings as a daily gift.

They Did it This Way

Yesterday I was walking in a state of shock; depression and grief. Numb because of things happening in my family I drifted and prayed. So afraid that I would succumb to deep depression I just walked and daydreamed for over four hours.

My family has been hit hard with troubles this year.

It was in that time of walking that I realized the disciples were also hit hard.

My church has started doing something that I have seen no other church do. Leadership prays, and truly seeks God in every action. Once a month we meet to discuss what God is telling us and then we pray. We don't have a "church board", we have a leadership team that really answers to no one but God. Issues are always taken in prayer and we come out with 100% unity.

And since we started that format: the leadership has been hit hard. Guess who has been hit the hardest? The Pastor. He is a God fearing man and sometimes I wonder how he even makes it to work. He is based on faith though and keeps going.

As I was thinking though, the disciples had to walk the walk of suffering to talk the talk of faith. We, the leadership, have not given up. We are all being hit hard but I am anxious to see what good fruit will come from this time of cleansing.

Please pray for our church, and especially the Pastor and his family which has just taken a beating.
Thank you.

Blessed Be the Child

God bless the children.

My little granddaughter has returned. I feel so sorry for the parents, and other grandmother. Of course, this is a blow to us also. My husband is 61 and I am 55. We wonder what will happen. Will we become "parents" again? And what about her? It is so painful to see every one's suffering.

I think the big thing I am learning from this is something I knew, but forget too often. Don't judge. Some of the issues that have made this choice are because of mental illness in the parents. I have often been angry at their choices, but seeing that maybe they really "don't get it" has sobered me. And hurt me, so many times in my heart I have been critical of them. "Why do they do that! They are dangering the child!"

Yes, they were, but now they are trying their hardest and still failing. My son has brain damage and now as I watch both parents frantically drowning in grief but unable to meet the requirements set in front of them. I am believing more and more they can't do it. I just feel like crying for them.

I can't imagine losing my child when I am desperately trying....but simply don't have the mental tools to parent.

So I am sobered once again to the fact: God must be the judge. And my duty is to pray, love and encourage. Oh God, when will I learn......

Please pray for the parents, baby and our two families.

Visit to the Dentist

Yesterday I visited my dentist. I was quoted 255.00 for my part of the work. But when I went to get the work done they told me it would be 383.00. I was furious. This is a continual problem in the office. One price is quoted, but when the work is done; a different bill is given. We go through the same circle. The amount is rarely correct. I have to call the insurance, have the office manager talk with the insurance and then we get the correct amount.

Frustrated, I asked to speak to the dentist. I told him that I wanted him to be successful. He is young and trying to build his business. However, I was not going to continue doing business with the dentist if we could rarely get billing correct. I was not complaining to make trouble. I wanted to help this young dentist build his business. I had owned a successful business and always wanted customer feed back. That was my reason to talk with the dentist, to help him.

The dentist became defensive and belittling. He quoted his degree, his good dentistry and basically told me that since I did not have his education; then I knew nothing. I left paying an inflated price: angry, and he has lost a consistent customer which has given his several thousand dollars of business. His education was not the issue. He is a good dentist. But, this office has lost many customers due to the sloppy office practices.

What is my point? Well, I have been thinking about the dentist attitude and how much as Christians we can be caught in the same trap. When God wants to discipline us, if we do not listen we lose the good he wants to give us. Our ego, or desire for control,keeps us from hearing important things. God comes to us wanting to help us, but we fight him as if he is the enemy. God's correction is for our good. We have the choice what we do with it. I hope I will be open to what God brings my way; because his will is always for my best.