So Eager

Today I pick up my granddaughter. I am celebrating her return and have been so lonely to have my granddaughter. I think it is the same with Jesus, he is so eager to have us return home.

Thank you for your prayers!

Pray for the Children

I finished a seminar today for foster care. The Bible says the sins of the fathers are passed on from generation to generation. It is true. Today so many children are paying a life long sentence for the choices of their parents. Drug babies, addict babies, abused children. America is losing their future. Children today suffer. Pray for the children! Pray for the parents. Jesus come soon.

Is Not About Future Problems

I am struggling as I fight to stay focused. Our granddaughter remains in foster care, and I have not seen her in two weeks. It seems like an eternity. I wonder about the future of my son, his ex girlfriend and the baby. It does not look too promising for any of them. I wonder about our future as grandparents and the future seems filled with pain, anger, bitterness.

But then I think of other things. God does not leave us to suffer alone. He may let us walk through valleys but those valleys make us stronger people. Those valleys give us hearts of compassion, and they teach us patience. God never asks us to take care of future problems, that we have no control over. He asks us to care for what he gives us for today.

Today I can stand on faith. And that is my goal.

Something to Think About

I am reading this book and find it fascinating. This is the story of a slave and his desire for freedom. What makes this book especially sad to me is that people were so cruel.

The author tells of his master and that man became "converted" but became a crueler man than he was before his conversion. I think of myself as a Christian, does me experience make me a better; kinder person, or do I become someone that carries cruelty as my symbol.

Something to think about.

I Still See His Hands

Sometimes when it seems that things around us fall apart I think we need to look and see where God is hiding....

My world is shaking but I see God's hands in so many things.

Recently I felt I could not stand the pressures of life and we went away for a rest. God knew I needed that because the day we came home is when our graddaughter was picked up.

I see the wonderful colors of my garden, and feel the crisp air.

I have friends and fresh air to breath.

These things let me know God is still watching over us.

Today, I trust.

Keep Trusting

I have a son which was abandon and we adopted him. What has happened to him is a life of misery. He does not think correctly and now he is suffering. He loves his daughter and frantically tries to meet the requirements to take his daughter in his home. Will he be able to be a good dad? I don't think so. I don't think the mother is able to care for her child either. What happens? Do my husband, 61 and myself 54, care for her? Do we raise her?

What if we get caught in a whirlwind of suffering, or do we let go? These are such hard questions; and heart breakers. What is the duty now...

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, in all the mind and in all the way and the Lord will direct your path."....the Bible. So, for today, I put the mess in God's hands and keep moving.

Tears Down the Face

Tears roll down my face. My life is just not that simple. My granddaughter rests in someone's arms as I wait to be licensed to care for her. On the other hand, my son, with mental illness is unable to care for his own child. He thinks she is coming back and I grieve seeing the pain of a future of conflict between myself and my son. I think of the pain my son has had, and now to realistically see my son once again will probably never have his daughter....that is pretty sad. But this is where my hope rests: Jesus has not forgotten us. And so for today, she sleep safely. I do not have to do anything except wait on him. Today, life is in his hands.

Not Learned Yet

My husband and I were praying. As I prayed my husband pointed out to me that much of my prayers were being answered. He asked me a question, "Don't you see what is happening with the prayers you have been praying?"

No, I guess not. I wonder how many times God has answered my prayers but I am too busy "looking" for answers when the prayers have already been answered.

God wants a child like faith. He wants us to trust him, good or bad. That is a lesson I have not learned. So- pray for me.

It's Up to God

Last night I had my Women's Ministry team scheduled to come for a meeting. Only one of the eight showed up. I was a bit frustrated, yet I know people are busy and I went on as I planed.

Once I read of a camp meeting where only one family came. The speaker of the camp meeting had the sermon but canceled all other meetings. Yet, from the one family that attended the whole family became converted. And one of the children later became a famous author, basing all of his work on God's love which he heard at that sermon.

We do not know the impact we make. My job is to do what is set before me. Then I can expect God to bless what is done. I leave the results of that meeting to God.

I Do Believe

I am sitting here listening to Christian music and just wonder about life. It is so easy to forget the hand of God never stops working for the faithful.

Recently I have had a lot of problems in my family. I have been praying unceasing but it has seemed like a pointless journey. Things seemed to get worse. Yet, when I finally understood it. "Let go, Let God." I have been doing that and now can rest- knowing God has not forgotten us. He still is in control.

I may not understand, but I can just rest knowing all things are in His hands.

God is wanting me to be at peace, knowing all things are in His control. I believe and I thank you, Jesus.

Freedom Through Forgiveness

My friend told me, "Terry needs healing being married to you." "Thanks Lois", I laughed. She is a counseling at her church, that specializes in healing of people through forgiveness. So when she told me my husband and I needed forgiveness healing I just smiled. She has many soap boxes and jumps from one to the other. Her new healing ministry was just another tangent I figured. But I agreed to read the book that she teaches from.

"Aw God...I don't want to read this book. I have plenty to do without reading another book." The book started out dull. Slow reading. But I prayed, "God if there is healing I need, then show me what needs to be healed."

Well, that prayer is sort of like the prayer asking for patience. Then you get trials. As I am reading the book, and now journaling, I realize I have lots of pain inside of me. Things I thought were "taken care of", but are not. Those pains affect my life. So I am humbling looking, listening and working through the things that are coming up. It is painful, but necessary for emotional growth.

I believe God wants us emotionally healthy. He knows the pains we have had to deal with. I am humbled that God cares.

The book I am reading is a ministry that asks the reader to forgive the person or situation that caused this pain. To seek God and let him heal you. Freedom Through Forgiveness : Nathan Daniel ISBN #1-931178-18-6

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Dad!

I am thankful for my father which has worked hard to be a good dad. Today so many people do not take their role as parent seriously, my dad did. And today I honor him. God has blessed us with my dad.

He Suffered Too

Recently it seems all around me are hurting people. My neighbor is losing her home. A friend called me to tell me that she is having a hard time coping. Yesterday a different friend called me crying and last week I spent trying to figure out the answer to questions that seem to have no answer.

I don't understand all suffering. I don't always understand why good people have hard things. Why children suffer so much on and on...

But when I raised my disabled child I found comfort in scripture that tells us clearly God cares for and knows the suffering of those that are at a disadvantage.

"Then I will draw near to you for judgement; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow and the orphan, and those who turn aside the alien and do not fear ME", says the Lord of hosts. Mal 3:5

I realized that God does have a special judgement for the oppressed and a special reward. Suffering hurts, but God sent his son to die: that hurt too. So he knows pain and I believe he cries with us.

I can't explain all pain. But I do believe we have a God that suffered too.