Tantruming to God

My husband and I make most of our income on real estate. Times are troubled and is seems that an economic storm is hanging over us. These pressures kept me with a headache most of the day. Frankly, I was a bit frustrated with God. Our last investment was one we did not need. We bought a property for unselfish purpose of ministry. We thought it would be a quick flip. Instead two years later we hold on to the property. And that has been stressful.

What has been the results? A god that is faithful. Towards the end of the day I went tantruming to God. "I am so tired of this stress- I need help here. My head has hurt all day. I feel frustrated to have this stupid property hanging on my head. Speak to me please. "

He did. He showed me how he has always taken us through ups and downs. That though things have had bumps, we are always delivered. This month alone my husband had over 33 hours of over time. That is the most he has ever had. God's ways are not always the way we think. They are the ways that make us deeper Christians. So, pray for me. Pray I remember he never said the way was easy- just that he was always with us on the journey. And God has always been with us. And, with my faith encouraged; my headache left too!

Iron Sharpens Iron

I lead a small group in my church. I went to my pastor when a conflict between members arose. "Iron sharpens iron", was his only comment. I was a bit irritated with his comment. I felt as if it was simplistic and somewhat uncaring. But my pastor taught me an important lesson.

I prayed for the conflicting parties. I tried to give the whole situation to God. And as I prayed I saw that God, in fact, could use this conflict for good. Recently I also was in a conflict with someone. I was hurt and so was she. But, we both sought God in prayer and practiced Matthew 18. We met, prayed and left closer and deeper friends.

God does not allow anything to touch us that can not benefit us. Will there be conflicts? Certainly. Will there be stress? Yes. But, going to God, relying on him makes us deeper and more developed Christians. As he opens doors, heals hurt feelings we are drawing to see his mighty works. So, to my pastor. Thanks for the lesson.

Setting a High Loving Standard

My husband and I had booked two nights in our get away. It was so wonderful that we debated a long time about booking another night. After great amounts of debating we decided to splurge on one more night. We just could not seem to end our trip. But in the night I got sick. My poor husband spent the next day trying to be with me. I kept trying to get him to venture off on his own but he would not go. So instead of hiking and spending his time outside; he spent it in our room, as I watched movies from my bed. That is love and devotion. So to all good husbands and wives. God bless you. You have set a high standard of unselfish behavior; and this to me is the example of the love that God calls from all His followers.

Vacation Time.....

Once a year my husband and I go to the coast and just relax. It is our private time. As we were there this year we drove through the redwood forest and I looked up at the mighty trees. I thought about the expansive ocean with the bright sun dancing on each wave. It amazes me to think of the great love and care God gives to mankind by His hand in nature.

Careless Thinking

I blew 80.00 today on a tire I really did not need. In the morning the windows on my car were totally frozen. I poured water on the ice and it melted, but as I drove it refroze and made my view not very good. I rationalized that I really did not have much farther to drive so I would do better next time. Well, at my destination I skipped a curb because I could not see; blew a tire and waste time getting a tire replaced.

Sometimes we just make foolish choices. Though I don't like spending 80.00 on replacing an almost new tire; I am thankful. I could have caused a wreck. My choices make a difference. I am glad that it only cost my 80.00 instead of a wreck which could have hurt someone.

I have learned a good lesson; and maybe my 80.00 is a cheep price for wisdom. I have been thinking about the application to my spiritual life too. I get careless, and seem to not realize that I am investing in my spiritual life. Carelessness often costs a lot. So for today, I am thankful I had a reality check on carelessness. And I am thankful no one was hurt.

GMMY

At 3:20 A. M. my grand daughter called out to me. I was not upset, afraid or even really frustrated. She woke up and just wanted a play mate. I could tell by the tone in her voice she wanted to be with me. I smiled and picked her up out of her crib. I cuddled her, gave her a bottle and soon she was fast asleep in "Gmmy's" bed.

I thought about how we are with God. I am sure, even when timing is not perfect he just delights to have us want to spend time with Him.

A Difficult Week

I had one of the most difficult weeks I have had in a long, long time. It seemed that no matter where I turned there was trouble. Friends fighting, sickness and lots of pain. By the time Saturday came I felt like I would have to crawl to church. I was emotionally worn out.

Then today came. A friend called me in the night. Someone had tried to rape her, and she was terrified. She poured out to me how hard life had been for her, and her feeling of totally weakness. I listened and thought.

Maybe my horrid week was a gift from God. My pain gave me compassion as I listened to my friend. I counseled her to care for herself and realized I too must care for myself. I think that sometimes we forget God does care; and part of that care is just being honest to say, "I need a rest." God wants us to care for all people, and we forget that means ourselves.

An Important Lesson

My friend and I had a conflict. My friend followed Mathew 18, which tells us to speak to the person privately to work out differences. She asked to speak with me about the hurt she felt. I did not want to meet with her, because I was concerned that it may make things even worse.

We both were hurting and I knew it. I was concerned that two hurting women would escalate even worse. But, we both spent much time in prayer, for each other: for ourselves. And once we met we had a wonderfully healing time as we realized we both shared the same views but from different angles. We honestly shared how we felt, and how we had been hurt. Then we also shared that we wanted to have reconciliation. We wanted our friendship to be more important than differences.

My friend taught me a powerful lesson. She taught me the dignity of honesty and faithfulness to kindness. I appreciate what my friend did and I hope that I may follow her high standard. She is a woman of God and has taught me an important lesson.

Worn Out

I am emotionally worn out. It seems that right now I am in the middle of much conflict at my church. Is it that the people are bad? No. Is it that I am bad? No. It is that we are in battle with an unseen force. Our church has started prayer, lots of prayer. Our leadership has pushed together in prayer. So Satan is pushing us.

I am worn out. I will not though yield the battle. It is through prayer, compromise and love this battle will be won. Our church will not dissolve over conflict on my part. I believe in God. I believe in my friends. We may be in conflict; but we are in Christ and His love will unite us.

The disciples also had conflict; but by uniting they took over the world. The longer we stay with Jesus the more we love each other. Tomorrow, will be my day to spend more time with God. The victory is in the power of His work and love. Conflict will be disolved when we cling to Christ.

Free

My online budget program is driving me crazy. I watch as funds seem to run from the account, but then other categories seem to grow. I am now catching myself not buying things I would have in the past. I am making new arrangements for not spending, and I smile when I find a way to cut another expense out of my budget. I feel like a conqueror!

Though this is so much work, pain and some what humbling I am learning. And as I learn, that powers me. I see that I will one day be so precise that I can be confident of what and where my money is going. I feel bold.

It has not been fun facing the reality of my sloppy records of past. But, when I lived keeping sloppy records; I lived in fear. Sometimes I wondered if I had enough money to pay the bills. Sometimes I had the mistake of thinking I had more many than I did, and spent money I did not have. As I get better; I feel better, because I know what I really have and I don't face the pain striking moments of balances that frighten me to death.

I have been thinking of this in my relationship to faith. Sometimes one of the hardest parts of life is accepting our own poor choices. Maybe friends we know are not good for us, or removing a habit not for our benefit. It is not easy; but I do see that as the Holy Spirit convicts us and we obey Him we become free. We feel joy knowing our lives are fuller, freed from the pressures of sinful lives. Then we build on the abudant life.

Working on a Budget

I am working on a budget right now.....UG. I have had a program on line which tracks my spending all month. I think it is very frustrating at times and I want to scream: but I know the more I work on it, the better I will get. Finally my finances will be clear, organized and ready for me. Won't that be great.

I compare this with my Christian experiance. Frankly, there are times I don't want to do ministry, don't want to read my bible. Prayer- another time. What I realize though is that when I do stop and commit, regardless of how I feel. I grow. And the time I spend investing in my spiritual walk comes back with its rewards. So when I feel like not opening my bible: I do. When I feel tired and don't want to pray, I still pray. When I know God has called me to minister, I try to cheerfully obey. And I grow again.

Happy Heart

I listened today to a T.V. program which stated 40% of happiness is made up of our choice to focus on happy and positive things. This program stated that the mind actually changes around happiness. Amazing! That reminded me of so many bible verses:

"As a man thinketh- so is he...."
"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it"
" A happy heart doeth good like a medicine."

Today, may I take time to focus on joy!

A Woman of Dignity

Recently I have been dealing with a conflict with another person. She is offended, and I am offended. After receiving a letter from her that just made me want to scream with anger I went to prayer, more prayer, more prayer. I did not feel better and know answering the letter would simply make things matter.

Later that evening she sent a letter saying she wanted peace between us and that our friendship was important to her. That melted me. Though I still do not agree with her, and feel that her actions were hurtful to me: her generous spirit to reach out a branch of peace melted me hot temper.

These are the actions that I believe Christians need to follow. Accepting our part and trying to make things right: these change the world. Her humble spirit helped me to open my mind to see life as she may, and I hope for a soon reconciliation. She acted as a woman of dignity and a woman of Christ. Now I will also be free to honestly express my heart.

House Keeping

My house is a mess. I don't like my house a mess and when things are out of place in my house it leaves me feeling frustrated, anxious and annoyed. But too many times I am caught with things out of order. Often I get irratated at my own lack of order.

I think it is the same way with my spiritual life. I want order but I let things get in the way of my spiritual growth: critical attitude, unthankful heart, not enough faith or time with God. These things fill my spiritual home with things that I don't want. I want to be clean of anything that makes God feel unwelcome.

So just as I go to clean my physical house, sometimes I think I need to ask God to be there to help me with my spiritual house. I want a place the Holy Spirit can kick up his feet and relax; where he feels welcome.

Remarkable Mother

My mother's birthday was yesterday. We had a little celebration and it was great. Thinking of my mother I think of what a remarkable women she really has been. She has been unselfish, loving and has a faith that could move mountains. Her faith is what gave both my brother and our faith; and we have never left it our entire lives.

So to my mother. While we gave you gifts- your life was the gift you gave us. Thank you for being remarkable! And we love you.

Going to Lunch

Today we met for our class in church which I lead. I noticed that one of my member's eyes kept brimming with tears. She is one tough woman! The amount of problems she has on a daily basis is amazing. This year she lost a child, she lives in total poverty and she it trying to make a life without drugs: though it has been her life for 30 years. During our class God kept telling me to take this woman to lunch. I fretted because it would be adding another expense to my strained budget. But God made it so clear to me that put simply- it would have been selfishness and lack of faith in God to not take her.

At lunch I just to give her time to talk. As I listened to her I found out that her life is even harder than I knew. And the end result for me was to be humbled. If I were in her shoes I would have thrown in the towel, been back on drugs and given up. She gave me a very important lesson today. Courage, and determination. I in turn was able to give her love, a listening ear, hope.

God's appointments are always an adventure and I am thankful that God is in control. Today's lunch was a spiritual appointment and we both were blessed. Praise God!

Isn't it a wonderful way that God arranges apointments for us?

Up Early

I have been up since 1:20 A.M. Why? Well, part of it is because I am on day three of the new year and already I am not meeting my goals! I am not up early to catch up but because I want to get focused. It is now 9:30 A. M. and I have been working most of this time working on our budget. I really want to make my goals this year. I realize that means making choices. For today it is focusing on learning, loading up my program with my budget.

Wow, that was work loading all that stuff. But, when I saw the "real" amount I have to work with in my budget- well, it opens the eyes. In some ways I am relieved. I now know what I can do with my money without fear. On the other hand I see the consequences of my choices. I see the careless amount of money I spent on Christmas. And, know that for awhile I need to cut back on other spending.

I think it is the same way with my spiritual experience. I want to take note of my sloppy ways and clean up my act. I long to be a Christian of excellence. Today- may I set spiritual goals and be willing to commit to focusing on changes.

Resolutions

It's a new year but I have not updated my resolutions. One of my friend made fun of the idea of making resolutiongs. Why bother because we don't keep them was his view. Well I admit that I certainly do not keep many of them. Stop drinking cola, is one of those. Just love my coke. But others I do make. And making some of them is better than none of them, isn't it?

I think that we need to focus ourselves on a regular basis. Without direction we really have very little progress. What is the most important resolution for me? Well, how about truly doing God's will. I have gotten too lazy. When he asks me to obey, I cut corners. I don't like my flabby spiritual attitude. I believe a Christian should be a perfectionist when it comes to obeying. God does not ask things of us that are not for the best for the kingdom of God. Whether it is small or big, obeying makes us people of a higher standard. Jesus did not accept for himself partial obedience. In the garden as his life was about to be taken, he pleaded with the Father to not have to do what he was called. But in the end, Jesus gave up his will for his Father's and today all Christians are welcome in eternity.

Today, may I obey.