Just a Little Cut

Well I cut my finger yesterday. It seems like a little cut and no big deal but when my friend, a nurse saw it she became alarmed. She wanted to know if I had gone to the doctor. It was bleeding and had not stopped, so we ended up at emergency late in the night.

I had to have a shot and today my arm is really hurting. But, it still seems like a lot of fuss for something little. That is my view, but my friend is an excellent nurse. She saw things I did not. Her guidance may have saved me lots of long term suffering.

It makes me think of God, he too is the expert. He sees the soul, and sometimes the choices that we make seem to us pretty important: but to him they are life changing- so he tenderly works with us. Sometimes that may mean we have to make big changes in our life; which to us seem unnecessary, but to God are important. He, too, looks out for our good. And when we put our trust in him we are in good hands.

More Alive

I am not feeling that good today. I started a detox diet a day ago and can't believe I am already feeling the results. The day seems long and the hours slow when you don't feel well. It sort of reminds me of sin. We make bad choices that plant themselves into our lives. If we commit to God, and changes happen; the pain will be worth it.

So for today, I am thankful. I may be in pain today, but I also know that tomorrow my body will be a bit healthier and more alive.

Teary Eyed

I am not a crying type of person, but today when I saw my daughter getting ready to leave I cried. It was so wonderful to have her here, and knowing I would not see her for another several months just made me cry. I felt so much sadness.

Do you think Jesus feels that pain too. He so much wants to take us home but knows we are just not ready, so he waits until we want him to return. And when we do draw near him I imagine he is as excited as when I know my daughter wants to spend time with me.

I am so thankful for so many things. Today, I am thankful to have a family that loves me, even if it makes me cry. Thank you Jesus for my family.

Humbled Joy

My day was almost like a post card. Blessed by family and feeling love and joy. It is rare to have such a picture perfect holiday. So today, I stay humble and thankful for all my many blessings: family, friends and faith. God bless everyone.
Linda

Just Gazing...

Our daughter came home yesterday. We waited with excitement to she our daughter return. She came in a relaxed. This was her home and she quickly made herself at home. She sat watching T.V. and I sat beside her, watching T.V. I did not care about the program but just being happy to be beside my daughter; gazing at her, laughing with her, poking fun at her program.

Do you think it will be the same way in heaven? Jesus so excited to have us there that no matter what we do, He just gazes with joy we are finally home? I hope so. That will be some reunion!

Forgotten Kids

"Great if no one comes there will be no one to cheer me on!"

I ended up at a swim meet to watch one of our church youth swim. We took one of her friends. As we were driving home I realized these kids were terribly lonely for something I could not give them. Family. They shared how their families had left them and the terrible loss they felt.

What is happening in today's world that children are no longer valued? That parents simple get tired of the responsibility and leave? I think it is a reflection of a culture that has become self centered, and without God.

Children are our gift from Him. The conversation I had with those kids brought me to a real humble place. Knowing that I may be the only "grandma" they know. Just a fat, old church woman. Today- may I be a grandma to the orphans of a lonely world; and may I love them as unselfishly. (Looks like I may be spending lots of time at sports events, ug. But I will be loving kids.)

They Did What He Wanted

Yesterday I was reading in Luke and Jesus asked his disciples to put down their nets to catch fish. All night they had been trying and had little results. But Jesus asked and they put the nets down. They got so many fish they worried they would sink.

What struck me in this reading was their obedience. They questioned Jesus about his request but then did what He asked them to do. Their faith brought them great gain. I need more of that kind of faith. I want to obey God and trust God with the results. That is God's way. When I trust Him he will be the one which will supply.

Burn for Jesus

I want to burn for Jesus. Once I had a fire for Jesus that was alive. My witness was strong and I loved God with all of my heart. Nothing was too good for my Jesus. That fire has dimmed now. I don't burn like I used to do; and I regret it. I want the love of Jesus to be so strong nothing takes Jesus place in my life.

Today, I seek a deeper walk with God. To see Jesus as the God of the bible: compassionate, loving, just and fair. I want to be humbled as I feel overwhelmed by His glory. That is my calling today. I want to be like Jesus. Pour down the rain, Jesus. Burn me like a fire!

Let's Just Sing

I turned on a T.V. program of religious Christmas carols. I was all ready to curl up and sing the carols I have sung all of my life; but then the program started. Butchered and chopped up. OK, that was my view. I was irritated that my favorites were no longer what I expected. I am sure God had to laugh at me. Why should all things remain "just they were"? God delights when we praise him anyway we can. Should the music be soft and sung sweetly? Yes, at times. Should it be loud and bold? Yes, at times. Should it be oldies. Yes, at times. What matters is that it praises him and we delight to give him glory.

Let's just praise God as family. We don't have to like each other's music but we can embrace each other and be thankful that we are all praising him and that we are family. Heaven loves to hear us praise God. Let's just sing....... Praise to God!

One Tree

This is one of my Christmas trees. One. I have six trees! One is 9 1/2 feet tall but the rest are six feet. Why so many trees? Because they help me in the winter not to be depressed. I like decorating them, watching them and having fond memories of Christmas in the past.

I am thankful for so many, many things. Christmas is one of those times I can reflect on the love of my family and friends.

Today, I want to remember all the wonderful gifts God has given me in life. You, are one of those things; because anyone touching my life brings me growth and joy. So to any reader: thank you. Thank you for being your gift to me.

Happy Holidays!

With Thanks I Enter Today

I don't know why, but I woke up today just happy. Maybe it was prayers of friends. Maybe it was change of thought. I just was satisfied with life. I had given up my purse and decided that worrying about it would not bring it back or change anything. It was gone. And I decided to just enjoy the fact that my identity had not been stolen and I was able to get my new accounts without problems.....Then I got a call from someone which has found my purse and has it locked in their safe! That simply added to my joy, knowing someone was honest enough to turn in my purse.

So for today. I am thankful. Thankful for the sun outside my window, thankful for friends, thankful for some honest person, thankful for someone calling me to let me know my purse is found. Thank you everyone! And God bless you!

Just Jump!

I was thinking about when I taught my children to swim. At first I pushed them and pulled them through the water. They loved it! But eventually they had to learn to not be afraid of the water and to jump in alone. So I moved them to the next level. I would place them on the edge of the pool and I would stay in the water. I would reach out my arms to them and call, "Just jump!"

Their little faces told me that they were so confused. The water looked so big, deep and frightening yet my arms were inviting, comforting and steady. Gathering up their courage they would jump into my arms. Over and over we would play this game until they finally no longer needed me to be there for them. Fear was gone.

I wonder how often Jesus is calling me to jump into my faith, not fearing. Tenderly he waits for me to move towards him; but I tremble at so many things. It is only when I move out of my comfort that I can be caught by him. Too many times my faith shakes. I long for the day when I totally trust God and simply know he will be with me.

Sitting in Prayer

Today I am moody and depressed. I lost my purse with both money and gift cards for Christmas. I am feeling too tired, and though I am trying to count my blessings: frankly I can't even stand myself. I am a grump. But I also am not alone. Right now I have several friends which are battling depression. And I am thinking. Maybe now is the time to just rest. Period. Jesus too got depressed. We know he wept for his people. On the cross he wondered where his father was. Yet, he never gave up believing his father was there. It was by faith he held on to his dad.

Maybe in times like these it is good to just pour a cup of tea, sit, pray, and take care of ourselves. Jesus never has told us life would be easy nor has he told us that we would be without pain. He did tell us that he will never leave us, never forsake us and that no matter what happens we can put everything in his hands. So, today I will put on my candles, light up my fire place, listen to Christian music and pray. Jesus will be there.

Sitting With Jesus

We had a Christmas party for the women in our church today. We laughed, told jokes and just enjoyed ourselves. It reminds me of heaven. Won't it be wonderful when we can sit together with Jesus, laughing and sharing? What a day that will be!

A Joyful Day

My husband worked most of the day putting up Christmas lights. When it was all done I thought it looked better than any other year. What struck me more was the kindness of my husband. He knew it was important to me that the lights were up and so he used his day off to please me. That is love.

Sometimes it is the small things which really touch the heart. I am thankful for his kindness, and it was nice to have time to appreciate a simple thing. The bible says, "This is the day the Lord has made- let us rejoice and be glad in it." I am rejoicing.

Lost Purse

Well, I lost my purse. I think I know exactly where I left it, a restuarant. I have called there twice and no purse has been found. Frankly, I was mad at God for not helping me locate it (sounds like a spoiled brat- doesn't it! ). But, I am back on track. Thankful no one has used my charge cards yet.

The most unexpected thing happened to me though. I just flooded with compassion for the person which has my purse. That person knows it it not his/hers but is not returning my purse. How many people will use other people to get forward in their lives? In reality they have a sad life. They sacrifice integrity; trust and reputation for gain; and eventually eternity. God welcomes pure in heart. So I am praying for the person which has my purse. I hope that person desires and reaches a higher standard and finds God.

Music In Heaven

I went to a lovely choir program tonight. I had so many mixed feelings. I enjoyed it very much, but also felt lonely. I remembered when I sang in a choir and wished I was up there with them. Something about singing in a choir is so enriching. There is such fellowship when you are working together and such satisfaction when the music pours from the soul.

I can't wait for music in heaven! Can you imagine what joy it will be? One place maybe we will be singing praises to drums while another place we will be in a choir. There will be instruments we never knew existed and no voice will be out of key. The best part is that we will be in praise to God. What a wonderful expectation.... just makes me want heaven so much sooner.

In Answer to Your Question

A reader asked me a powerful question. How can she heal from the pain of being raped. I do not know the answer to her question: but in compassion I am going to share my story hoping it may help.

I had a major nervous breakdown 13 years ago. From that nervous breakdown my mental illness came forth. I have many diagnosis. I am bipolar and have a rare anxiety disorder that causes lots of pain. Before my nervous breakdown God said to me: "Something you do not understand is going to happen to you. This is the one time you must go completely on faith. Cling to this scripture.

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with Wings as Eagles. Is. 40:31

I did not know what was about to happen to me. But in the next four years I lost my home, my health and my reputation. Both of my children were sent away and then my husband and I became victims of an attempted murder. I was terribly sick and visits to counseling, hospitals and doctors were my life. I was miserable. I became so sick I could not read and all I could pray was, "God help me." But, I remained in faith. Finally I wondered how a loving God could allow so much pain to myself and my family. Where was He anyway?

So, though I did not deny God lived and somehow tried to reconcile everything: I became bitter. I battled in my head knowing a loving God, and my heart feeling a God that let me suffer so much. For a year I became someone I did not like; angry, bitter and foul mouthed.

A year later I prayed. "God, I don't understand this. The pain seems so much, and I simply don't get it. But I don't like what I have become. I am nothing. My career is ruined, my health is ruined and I am so broken. But, if you can do anything with my life. I will just live one day at a time for you."

Then miracles started happening. I have never done drugs, never had one drink, and basically always been pretty conservative. But God started a whirlwind of miracles. He brought me drug addicts to minister to. He had me speak on the state level for parents with disabled children. He had me write for a paper, and I am here. He continues to use me in one way or the other.

He also sent my children back; I have a lovely home and I am very happy. I have an abundant life. Even my illness has its blessing. It keeps me tender hearted to those suffering. It keeps me on disability so I can minister; and it has opened many doors for me to serve God.

I really think that these are the things that keep me going and have changed my life.

1. I realized that all people used by God went through awful things. Jesus hung on the cross. David drooled in caves. Moses walked in the desert for years. Joseph went to jail for doing the right thing. Misery births compassion, humility and dependence on God.

2. Do the best with the day you are given. Realize you may not always understand all things, but a loving God is still planning your steps if you just ask Him.

3. Be honest with God. If you are angry- respectfully tell Him so. If you feel lost and frustrated, tell him that too.

4. Don't give up. All during that time I would say to myself. "Bitter or Better- its your choice."

5. Use tools available. It's OK to seek help. I have had lots of counseling. At times I use medication. Those things have helped and they are resources God has provided. But, my greatest resource is believing God if faithful.

6. I keep a joy journal; writing five things a day I am thankful for and praising God for these things.

7. I try and commit my day to God. I try and do at least one act of kindness a day. I daily spend time in worship and meditation.


My heart is touched when I hear of suffering. But God is still in control. What Satan meant as wickness: God has blessed. You have a daughter you love. Love her, annoint her to God and trust God has great plans for both of you. Pray for her father.

I will pray for you. Thank you for your honesty. I was touched. Please feel free to contact me through liftingthecross.com or setfreeemedford@juno.com. If you leave contact information I will contact you. God bless you.

Doubting Linda

Recently I have been frustrated with God. I have felt as if God somehow forgot what I was needing which is knowledge about my business. I was fuming and pouting, complaining a lot to God about it. But, I did not give up with God. Just as Jacob fought with God I was fighting. On one hand I knew God is faithful on the other hand I felt He was not helping me. So I started running to him in prayer. I did not give up. I persisted and did all I could to obey.

Then it occurred to me that God did not move, I did. The answers I need for today, I have. It was answers about the future I was seeking. He is providing for me now; and that is where I need to focus. It is my own lack of faith that drives me to be concerned about tomorrow. Jesus says we are not to worry about tomorrow; but trust him with today.

Sorry, God.

I am trying to learn more and more to rely on God. I am certain I must be related to doubting Thomas sometimes. But, even Thomas finally was counted faithful; because he remained in fellowship with Christ.

Today, I will trust God and do the best with knowledge he gives me. The past He has blessed me, and tomorrow was just as much in His plan as today. Praise Him for faithfulness.

Cancer and Property

My friend is a realtor. I went to see her about a property that is just killing us in debt. I am anxious to know what I need to do to change and move this property. She seemed moody and cold to me and I wondered just what was the problem. I wondered if maybe she was irritated that I was using her time, or maybe she also is overwhelmed with worry about the market.

We had our meeting and it really was not very good. Her advise told me to take a huge loss on my property and write it off. I started to leave feeling frustrated and afraid; when she caught me. "Linda, when you pray will you pray for me? I think I have cancer. I have the same symptoms as my mother did." (Her mother died). I am going to the doctor for tests next week."

My heart flooded with emotions. My friend is dear to me and my concerns over property seemed pretty small at that point. I think it is the same with God and I sometimes. I give him to little importance in my life. I question him, instead of trust him. I focus on my little concerns while he wants me to focus on bigger things.

Please pray for my friend.

So Cold

I was feeling miserable today. I was sick and depressed so I decided to go for an early morning walk. The wind was blowing hard, trees labored against the strong breezes and I grabbed the collar of my coat to make sure I would stay as warm as possible. But somehow just feeling the cold air rush by my face; hearing the howling made me feel better. It was as if I felt like God would blow away troubles.

Then as I was walking I spotted a girl about 11 years old squeezed between the trash can and a wall. She was OK, and had found a place to brace herself that would protect her from the winds until her bus came along. I felt so sorry for her though. She looked so cold. I remembered my childhood being so cold some days waiting for school to open its gates. I smiled at her and remarked on how cold it was; she smiled back a pretty smile as if saying we were united in understanding of the same situation. It was a tiny bonding moment.

I think sometimes it is that way with God. He sees us wedged between life's trials. He does not remove us; because He knows we are there for a purpose. But, he also shares with us a smile and lets us know He understands and cares when we are suffering. And together we face difficulties.