World's Fattest Man

Last night I watched a documentary on the world's largest man. His choices added up and in the end destroyed a once healthy man. I thought about how his dignity was stolen from him. He was "OK" with media taping him naked and sprawled out. How come that did not bother him I wondered. Then I realized that he had slowly become the indifferent and insensitive to things which he should be sensitive.

I believe this is what happens in sin also. As we first do just " little sins"'; these sins teach us to become indifferent. Eventually we simply do not see sin as sin. Sin kills. I believe that works the other way also. As we reach out to God, he puts more sensitivity in us. We become more aware of the cost of choices and make better choices.

The fat man said he blamed God for his weight. But then cried out to God tohave God help him. God heard him. A news reporter saw him and a cry went out world wide. Doctors came and now that man is in recovery. He gives glory to God.

What a glory it is to call on God, and have him restore us to well being. Praise God!

Sick and Vacation

I am on Vacation, and have had a great time. But, one very disturbing thing on my trip is seeing many sick people in the streets. I am in San Francisco, USA. This city is known for its gay population. I have read that one in 10 people here is gay. Does God love the gay? He sure does, but he does not love the life style. He tells clearly in the scriptures not to follow that style.

And here? Well I have seen many people sitting on the streets, huddled over with signs saying they are dieing from the illness connected with the gay life style. The signs ask for compassion and money. It is clear they are very ill and my heart reaches out in compassion to these gentlemen. In my home town we also see very sick people, dieing from drug use. I also have deep compassion as I see these people dieing.

God has many laws; not for his benefit. They are for ours. And any law God gives is to protect us and care for us. I wonder how God looks at me, as he sees me breaking laws he gives. I imagine he must be touched by all of our sins. As he knows those sins are killing his children. Sins is sin. Sin kills. God is love and wishes to restore.

In Praise for Our Children

When we come to the cross in petition for our children a friend pointed out that instead of pleading and grieving for our children; start praising because he is working for them. Go in faith and keep the heart open to think that Jesus is working.

I am bold as well in asking others to pray for my children. Nothing will be as rewarding to me as when in heaven my family joins me. Please pray for my children: Marianne, Chris: Christina,
Sara, mother of my grandchildren and my grandchildren, Serenity and Mckayla.

I want a big family reunion will all seated at the table of God.

Vacation With Jesus

I am going on vacation to see our daughter. We have not seen her since Thanksgiving and I am so lonely to be with her. I dream of what we will do, but know I really don't have to do anything. Just being with her will be treat enough.

Do we dream of being with Jesus? Just being with him will be the heaven I need.

A Faithful Feeling

Today I was reading a journal of a Christian that was asked to be forgiven by a man which had tortured her, and helped to kill her sister. The author said is was the most difficult thing she did in her life. But, that forgiveness is a choice not a feeling.

I admit that I am not good at having "faith". I doubt so many things and recently I am on that wagon again- doubting. So I was pleading out to God to help me have faith, and I came across this reading. I think the same thing applies. We don't have to "feel" the faith. We have to accept God's word. When we feel he does not care, his word says he does. We accept it.

Today I have been able to yield myself to God by faith. I don't feel his leading, but his word says he is; so I will trust.

Flawed Christians

I like to read, and I read about famous Christians. The more I read, the more I realize that sometimes that had "hang-ups". But the good news is that these hang-ups made them real people. It gives me comfort to realize that God uses the "flawed" to do the greatest works.

This means anyone, with a willing heart can be used by God. That is GOOD NEWS.

What Has My Faith Cost?

Recently a friend and I were discussing the "sacrifices" we have made to follow the cross. For both of us, in service; we have had some large trials. As I thought about that; I thought of the gains we have received.

My faith: kept me from divorce. I kept my marriage vows when things were hard, and now I am happily married. My faith: always challenges me to be a better person as I realize the noble qualities of Jesus. My faith: has given me assurance that there is God that cares; I always know I am not left alone.

As I look at my sacrifices, they have been deep and painful at times. But like a seed which dies; it springs to a great and full harvest. With me, there have been death of things in my life: due to my faith...but the rewards are bountiful that God has supplied. And when I am in heaven, I will be surrounded by God and friends that have planted for eternity. What could be better?

Fellowship

Last night I had horrid nightmares all night. Then I woke up with a bit of pain in my throat; now I am feeling sick with my anxiety disorder. It occurred to me that the night before church often comes with nightmares, and anxiety attacks. Why is that? Perhaps Satan stands ready to keep me from fellowship with my "family".

Jesus met with his church family on a regular basis. When we are in fellowship, we have a chance to meet and learn from our family. Sometimes our church family may make us angry- this can drive us to prayer. Sometimes our church family can delight us- this is an option for praise. Sometimes we overflow with love of God- this is a time to gaze at His glory.

Satan wants us separated from other believers. But Jesus example was to be in fellowship.

Tears of Blooms

Recently I have been deep in bible study and prayer. I was pushed there by trials in my life. Usually when I have trials I do pray; but I also spend lots of time running in fear. Oh I have run in fear now also- I don't have that battle totally covered yet: but I have been much more focused to remain in prayer. The results is that my spiritual life is deepening a lot. New insights of God's plan for me are unfolding and I am anxious to know more of what Jesus would want.

This is a lesson for me. Trials bring us to our knees: and perhaps the tears we shed; water our faith, to bloom greater things.

Lifeless Lifeguard

I was in a public pool with a life guard. The problem was that my life guard was reading a book. I timed her to see when she would look up to check on us, the swimmers. Based on my timing, if we had a problem; we would die while she did not even know we were down.

That made me think about my spiritual life. Jesus repeats the warning to watch and be prepared for His coming. But, I wonder... will I be so busy doing my own thing that I miss that also? I hope I am prepared and ready for whatever needs to be done. Because Jesus promises to return but He tells us to watch and be ready. Keep my spiritual eyes open for Him.

No Money in the Bank

"If you have money in the bank when you die; you aren't much of a Christian", my friend remarked. She was referring to herself and the fact that she wanted to die penniless for God.

How different is my world; since lately I have been thinking about budgets and God. I always thought I was doing the right thing by paying tithe. Then I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to budget: but now, I wonder. If my money is not "my money", but truly is God's.... What kind of steward am I? Do I believe he is just? Will he keep me cared for? and what about retirement: how much to God, to me, to others? I am praying about it. Because if I can't let go of my money, another master leads me. If I can let go; and let God, I rely on the banking of account of God.

I think two things bring out the real character of men; stress and money. I am in prayer, as I think of my friend's view. Jesus died poor: and what is it that he would have of me?

Important Papers

Today I had some very important papers signed for me. For two years I have been working on a project that is now finished. I should be dancing for joy- as much less stress will be on my plate. But, I simply can't believe it. I don't believe that my papers really are finished. I wait wondering. Will I get a phone call telling me things are not right? Or will I find I am missing something?

It reminds me of Jesus invitation. He tells us to rely on him and he will guide us. But, I struggle with that belief also. Instead of trusting him I worry, fret and try to "help" out God instead of trusting him. I hope that my Christian growth brings me trust. Pray for me.

The Voice Inside

Recently I was talking to a friend which told me she had God inside of herself. I believe God can dwell in us; but as I talked with my friend I realized that scriptures were no longer her reference for truth but this "voice" inside of her. Can God talk to us? Of course, He tells us he comes in a still small voice. We want to listen to God and to follow his leading, but when scriptures are no longer the reference and we rely on what we are feeling, "hearing"- I think we need to go with caution.

God's words are clearly spoken in his word. I believe that we need to listen carefully to God in all ways, but we need to learn his voice through study of his word. The words we hear need to be ones we learned from study of his word. There are many words spoken to us that may not be God. Self. Other's views and Satan can all access us. Like Jesus, we need to be grounded in scriptures so that we can test all voices. And through time with him and His word: we know the voice calling us.

Stubborn Heart

Recently God has been really showing me some areas in my life that need major changes. I see them, and know I need to take another path. Stubbornness is my bigger problem. Few times has God shown me areas of change I needed; that I was not willing to let go. Now I am challenged not only in seeing areas I need to change but also- in being willing to let God take away my self will, which wants to hold onto my short comings.

Isn't is a strange thought that a person should want to hold unto short comings? The center is self, and selfishness. I wrestle to be willing to be 100% obedient. God would not want me to yield anything; if it were not a loving God, that wants me to be a better person. So clinging on to my own will is hurting me.

There is good news. Even self will, can be yielded to a mighty God. I must ask, pray and trust God to change my heart. He promises he will: so I will trust him with the first step- changing me to want to be obedient, to pry open my selfish heart and let love; unselfishness and obedience enter. We serve a mighty God.

Holy Spirit Speaks

Friday I was at the emergency department. It was awful, and I was frustrated. My regular doctor was not working; so staff could not get my records. My treatment,though well intentioned, was hampered by not having the correct records or access to them.

When I get this sick, I usually can not speak: so as they worked I was unable to communicate simple things that would help me more. Treatments were given to me I did not need; while treatments I did need were not given.

I don't blame them. They were trying to do the best they could. But I left feeling very frustrated.

This reminds me of the work of the Holy Spirit. He communicates to God what is really needed. When we don't know how to express ourselves before a mighty God: He does. The bible promises that the Holy Spirit will speak for us. How encouraging to know as long as we call out to God; the language he hears, will be exactly what we need and when we need. Even if we don't know how to say it: the Holy Spirit does.

Church Camp Out

We just came back from our Churches Camp Out. It was so much fun, and I am glad I went. While I was there I thought about unit. We came together and spent time together. Heaven is a place for one big "camp out". It will be the fellowship with Jesus, brethren, angels that will make it so special. Won't it be wonderful to just "hang out with God" as a family?

What Pains are Coming?

I hurt someone today. I feel bad about it, but don't know of anything I could have done differently. Sometimes I must realize that when a person "over reacts" or in some other way acts differently than I expect: I do not need to judge them. I need to love them. That is how Jesus would do I believe. He reads the heart. I do not know what a person brings to the table in hurts and pains. So I need to walk with gentleness, compassion and grace- because that is the way Jesus did it.

The Garden

I went to my garden today and have produce coming up. It is not much, but it delights me. You see, I have been trying to grow a garden many times, but never get anything. Bugs get my stuff, I don't wanter enough or some other thing keeps me from receiving. Today as I look at my plants I realized that my repeated efforts produced food.

As a Christian I realize the same principle applies. I cringe at some of my "baby" ways when I started as a Christian. But, I learned. I made mistakes in my witnessing and Christian life but I just kept trying. Today, when I blow it with God or friends; I need to remember its ok to keep trying and the fruits of my labors will eventually appear.

God promises he will multiply what we do in honesty for him.

Accountability

I am involved with a group of people which are good hearted and kind. Recently, however, two of the members did something the rest of the group did not like. When those two came back to the group, the rest of the group "pounced on them", for their behavior. I regret doing that. A group of Christians should hold each other up, and anyone should feel safe to come. Sometimes accountability is needed; but I think there is a correct way and a wrong way.

Jesus always used tact, kindness and usually used privacy as the correct place for discipline. I think that maybe we stepped over the boundaries set by Jesus, and have set up for our returning couple to feel hurt, afraid and isolated. I hope not. I left feeling uncomfortable and plan on addressing this matter. Christian places should be the safest places.

A Garden Lesson

In the garden I was working, when suddenly God had a little talk with me. He pointed out to me my lack of kindness to my brother. It is not that I have been rude or selfish; I just have not been as encouraging as I should be. My brother has been deeply hurt; in the past, by others and often suffers from low self esteem. I need to let him know just how important he is to me. Jesus never withheld kindness and always assured those around him of their deep value. I realized, I blew it in just not letting my brother know how valuable he is to our family.

I hope that I am more careful in the future.

Dishonest Christians

My husband and I use contractors now and then. Often in the phone book a contractor will put a symbol he or she is a Christian. I cringe, wondering if this person really will stand by they symbol posted. Christian's should do business with honesty, dignity and integrity: but unfortunately I have dealt with Christian's that are deceitful, rude and selfish. Wearing any symbol which tells others of our faith should notice that we hold ourselves at a higher standard than the normal business person. Jesus would never be rude, selfish or dishonest; and he is the model we follow.

Dog Marries the Cat

Imagine a cat and a dog getting married. They both would have their own way of wanting things. The dog-prefers a good bone dug from the yard; while the cat is sure a nice fish would do much better. So they fight and fight, in the end the dog chases the cat up a tree and the cat claws a good one at the dog. The problem is, that they have tried to change the other; instead appreciating the differences.

Too often I think that we forget, we are different. When I am tempted to wonder why my brother and sister do not do things as I would chose, I need to remember. We all are created by God, and I need to appreciate the differences in be thankful for a creative God.

God's Day Planner

I was thinking today about how God plans my day. About four years ago I started my day with this prayer. "Here is my schedule Lord, but do what you want." It amazes my how my day may change. Sometimes a day which is packed full becomes bare of duties. Some days when I "mysteriously" have a change of plans- a doctor's appointment canceled. Then I get an urgent call from someone needing help. Other days when I think I have an easy day ahead: my day fills with chores God takes me to do.

This new way makes life an adventure. God is so much better at planning my day than I was. I love the new day planner God has made. Committing my day to God, is always an adventure. When God plans the day my time is more balanced and I am more in control. Thank you Jesus.

Joining the Prayer Circle

My children have decided to leave God. It makes me so sad; but recently I have found some websites for my children. www.prayingforourchildren.com and www.prayforourchildren.com . Today is the day to take up this battle. Let us join together in prayer for our children.

Commited Wednesday

I decided to commit Wednesday to God. I would do my basic chores; and the rest of the day spend in prayer and spiritual pursuits. What happened? Well, I started the morning doing chores: spent the afternoon reading the bible, spiritual books and praying. The evening my husband and I worked on our budget.

It was not an easy day. In the morning I fought with a creditor. In the evening fought with my husband over the budget; and during my time with God prayed a lot, but felt restless and anxious.

The question is, did the day fail? I don't think so. Because in my time of deep prayer, and study there was growth. I had time to focus on what God wants of me in the future and my vision is stronger. My fights? Well, I am not surprised. Satan knew of my commitment, and so he invited himself to my day as well.

But as the day ended;I left, peaceful and more focused. I want to be a Christian that lives like Christ; and part of the journey is spending time to know his will. More of that came clear in my spiritual time and I hope to take this journey again soon.

Pay in Court

I received a notice that I had been turned into collections. I had paid, and for service I did not order. I was so angry. I called the different departments, which basically told me that was my problem, not theirs.

"If you want to take me to court for 16.81 cents I will see you in court. I think your business needs some work. I am paying for service I did not order, and you have lost the payment! I guess we will meet in court!"

As I hung up the phone, I realized for 16.00 I had lost control of my temper and dishonored my faith. Sometimes, our true faith shows the best under pressure. I hope that next time I can remain calm and courteous.