Never Full

I have a relative which was raised as a Christian. Now, she is 83 and never has left the Christian faith: but I have often wondered if she ever met Christ. She can talk about church, doctrines and forms; but Christ and his love has never come off of her lips.

I have compassion for my Aunt. She is a good woman and has a good heart; but a Christian life without Christ is pretty unsatisfying. I too, spent years being a "good Christian" but never really knowing Christ. My life was driving by "being good" instead of knowing Christ.

To me, that kind of Christianity is like believing you have eaten when you only saw the pictures of food. Starving but deceived: unsatisfied, and never full.

Past Due

I received a notice I have been turned into collections for a bill I have already paid. Sometimes life seem to just add more and more little frustrations on our plates.

I am learning lately to run to God in prayer when the stresses mount up. When I run to him, then I stay more focused. God never says we won't have problems. He does say that he is always with us- so why not rely on him, and share what is going on in my life? He knows anyway, but it is nice to know God wants to know what is on our heart.

All Prayers Answered

George Muller, through prayer started orphanages for over 10,000 children. He never asked for money but God supplied.

As I was reading his autobiography I noticed an interesting thing. He was preparing to give a speech about how his work was coming. Funds were frightfully low and he was in fear. He prepared to share this with his audience but instead realized he needed to share what God was doing for the institutions.

At the end of his life he noted in his journal that all his prayers had been answered.

I thank George Muller for showing me that perhaps I need also to focus on what God is doing and not what I still am waiting in prayer to see happen. God is faithful, and I need to reflect on what he does for me.

May I be a Fanatic

I know a man which many people classify as a fanatic. I too have wondered at times about this man. His life is so regulated that he and his family almost seem unreal. But, the results of his life are impressive and make me ashamed I am not more "fanatical". He is 53 and in his life he has been the president of an institution which teaches people to care for themselves through natural methods. While working full time on his off hours he has started four schools to help children in India. He has raised a family which is the example of morality, compassion and faith. And now his children are taking up his passion. His three daughters have taken off to missionaries.

His faith is changing lives. May I be more fanatical.

Is My Thinking Spiritual?

I am studying to slow down and hear God's voice. My problem; however, was that when I tried to slow down my head ran with "to do" lists. My efforts to slow down were bogged down with rushing commands of things I needed to do. I am evaluating my own self. Have I become so busy in things, I simply can't obey a simple command; to take time off for listening to God?

Evaluating my life, I see that I have many things that need rethinking. Do I need to do all those things, and have I developed a life style that is never content being still. God is a God which comes in a small voice. He needs me calm enough to listen. Have I added to my life things that are not spiritual, simply because they take too much time from spiritual thinking? It is a sobering thought.

Gentle Love

I have a kitten living under my deck. It is really frustrating me. As I work it cries, and I don't know exactly where it is. I was telling my mother about this kitten and thinking of way to try and chase it out. The crawl space is too small, is it has the advantage. My thoughts were to spray in the holes and try and make it miserable to run out. My mother remarked I need to be kind, feed it and eventually win its trust to remove it.

Love is patient, kind and works with the recipient for its better. My way was harsh, my mother's was gentle. Jesus refers to himself as the Good Sheppard. He woes us, cares for us and wins us to His path. It is his love which brings us to trust Him.

Troubled Thoughts Bring Good Results

Recently I have been very agitated. The reason is that I am reading something that makes sense to me logically but emotionally it does not. The author of the book I am reading tells me to simplify my life to hear God's voice. To me it logically makes sense, but then I start doubting. What if I don't hear God's voice? What if I run away after some "voice" that is not God's but some other voice?

I am troubled. But, this troubling is working a good work in me. As I seek to really understand the author; I am taking more time to pray, think and really try and understand God's will for me. There is where true relationships with God develop; spending earnest time in prayer.

God Works From Love

Recently I have been in prayer a lot. I am so concerned about our world. It seems morality is a past virtue, and that we are a world out of control. I was thinking about the flood. I used to think that it was shallow of God to drown a people. But, seeing my world today and the way it is spiralling out of control. I wonder if God waited until only one virtuous family was left. Then in grief, he had to stop the insanity of a world out of control.

God works from love, and I am sure he grieves at what is happening in our world. I fear for our children, and wonder when He will return to stop the insanity again.

Puzzling Woman

I am working on a puzzle. I take a long time and I go for the easier ones; but my mother is the queen of doing puzzles. She is really good, and knows where all the pieces go. Quickly she can finish a puzzle. But my mother has had lots of practice. She is 75 and has done puzzles all of her life.

I have been thinking about puzzles and Christianity. Often as Christians we may beat ourselves up when we make mistakes: the short word, the gossip, the fib. We forget that God promises us a new heart, but anything takes practice: including the right steps as a Christian. The more we move forward in our faith, the better we will be at living what we believe. So when discouraged: remember you are learning, and God is still with you.

Where is the Peace?

In my home a strong work ethic was not suggested it was required. The fall out for myself is that I never can stop working. A voice in my head keeps telling me to get up on the treadmill of life and push to the max.

The results? At age 40 I suffered a nervous breakdown, and am on total disability for life. Did I learn? Well, I thought so: but that dialog is running hard in me now. My husband and invest and some of our investments are doing poorly. So my childhood voice is that we need to do more. While God's voice is telling me to slow down and trust him. That is the conflict; being able to give my life to God and trust him in what he is doing.

I have not won the victory of faith, but I continue to pray and seek to let God be in control.

Trusting in Good Times and Bad

As I read about famous Christians I realize that one thing they have in common is great faith. When tragedy happens they don't doubt God, but move on. I hope that I may become a woman of faith, trusting God in good times and bad times. It is a goal; I am praying to reach.

Including Rest

It may sound strange; but I have a hard time resting. If I take time off I feel guilty. There are always more things that could be done and I am always filling my plate beyond the limits. Recently, I believe, God told me to rest. I protested. I simply have to much to do I complained. But, the more I complained the more imfatic became the request.

"I want you to take the day off, in fact several days. You need to rest." But today I took time to take a nap, and I am dreaming about other calming things I will do. It is hard to stop my mind. As I do, I realize following God is always the most refreshing thing to do. So as I quest for rest, I have included in my schedule praise. I praise a God that loves us enough He wants to take care of us: including rest.

Be With My Children

My daughter told me she is giving up on her morals. I felt like crying. She is unaware of her foolish actions, but plunges on into a future of pain and suffering.

Today, Satan is a roaring lion. He seeks to ruin our children. I am at war. I am holding up my children and my country in prayer. And, I long to have God return them to me.

The world may take them down a road of suffering, but I am battling in prayer my children to return to God. Oh, Lord, be with my children.

Just Singing

It is a rare occasion but sometimes I am just totally happy and thankful. Today is one of those days. I woke up singing, and it is like refreshment of the soul for me. Here, we have had lots of stress and the stress seems to mount on the stress. So this change of attitude is like a cool drink on a hot day; just needed and so appreciated.

Thinking of that I realize that my actions can also be ice water on someone or a voice of joy. Today, as I go about my life I hope that I can be kind enough, positive enough and encouraging enough to leave a voice of singing in someone's heart. God be praised.

A Little Help?

"Can you give me a little help here God!", I complained. My day was not good. I stepped on a bee, broke my shoe, had an appointment and the party was late. Then lost my purse and got sick. Day's like these just are not fun. But, in the end God is in control. It is when we are struggling that we learn lessons. So for today-I know God is still in control: and I will be thankful not all days are like today. I am ending my day in prayer, and praise. Because God is still in control and I trust that days like today are just as worthwhile as days when all goes well.

Older Christians

I have a friend; younger than I am, which is so miserable in her marriage. I have such deep compassion for her. She is just like me, and her husband is just like mine. I see my younger friend and feel so badly as I see her grieving over her marriage. I did mine also.

Both of us have wonderful husbands, but we are so different from our husbands; that their differences we don't understand. So we get hurt and misunderstand them. Then we try and make things, better but make things worse.

Today I went to talk to my younger friend. I told her honestly that my husband and I had had some very hard times; and that I felt that I could help her understand her husband. She seemed so thankful to have someone which could give feed back. It was a load off of her shoulder.

I believe a large ministry today is for the older Christian's to teach the younger Christian's. Today's world has few role models of integrity and when our young people struggle: they often just need a friend. Older Christian's that can wrap their arms around them are so needed.

Slow Down

I am reading a fascinating book Escape to God. The author makes the point that our lives can become so involved that we simply don't have the time for God any more. I find this is a battle for me also. I am almost addicted to my non- stop life. Today, I feel sick: yet avoid going to bed because there is a voice in my head: You just have too much to do. So, though I feel sick, and my chores could wait until tomorrow- I keep pushing. That is an imbalanced life. Over work is an addiction.

I hope that I can take the time to slow down. I am a Sabbath keeper, and believe the Sabbath day was given for addicts like me. Because slowing down, is what I need to do. Saturday I will be resting, sleeping and sitting under a tree just spending time with God. Isn't that better than running, running, and running. I hope also that I can learn to slow my other days. Because God likes to spend time with me.

A Bank Mistake

I was looking at my bank account and found a large mistake I had not seen before. According to the statement money was deposited which is not showing up. The problem for me now, is that I don't know if I am really entitled to the money. Here, things are so busy and stressful: I don't know if I made the deposit, or if it is a mistake. Temptation is to insist that the bank give me the money; but Christian ethics dictates a higher standards: which is to go by the truth.

So I have been in prayer to honestly try and find out the truth and to do the right thing. To me, that is the difference of a true Christian and one which carries the name only. A Christian does the right thing even when it may cost her. To wear the name Christian should mean I live by a higher standard.

God's Way

Matthew 5:23,24

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

This weekend my son and I got into a fight. He made a bad choice; but I jumped into the situation without knowing all the facts, and I could have handled things much better. One thing I appreciate about my faith is accountability. God wants us take take responsibility when we drop the ball. Because when we take responsibility we grow, become more mature and more pure.

I did take that step. I called and apologized for not doing a better job. My son melted and humbly took responsibility for his part. We are reconciled in a situation which could have cause alienation.

God's ways are so restoring. What a mighty God we serve!

Simple Pleasures

Have you ever noticed that some of the greatest pleasures on earth are simple ones? Yesterday, for example. I had a headache so I went and slept. A breeze blew over me and I felt so comforted. And today, I had time to clean my kitchen. Just seeing it more in order gave me satisfaction.

Sometimes I believe I make my relationship with God just too complicated. I am trying so hard to "do the right thing" that I forget sometimes the right thing is just praising God. I can't imagine anything that would please Him more, than if I took time to go aside and praise him. Just the two of us together. Simple but powerful.

What's My Focus

Our pastor challenged us to recount how our relationship with Jesus had been the last ten years. Had we noticed changes in our lives, and were we meeting our goals in relationship to HIM? What were focused on these past years. And, he pointed out that if we focused on Jesus our lives would be different.

Somehow that just hit a note with me like it never had hit before. What was I really focusing on these past ten years? My relationship with God? My family? My health? It simply stands to reason that if I focus on Jesus, I will have my thinking changed and my life.

Thank you pastor. For the next ten years, I hope I invest in my mind: focusing on this pure, holy and God filled. Then at the end of ten years; I will be a purer, kinder and more holy person.

Celebration!

Today we should be celebrating our 27 year anniversary. Neither of us got each other cards, no gifts and not even special plans. Normally I would be very hurt, and upset feeling my husband did not even care enough to do anything special. But, we are both so tired we forgot the cards and gifts. And, it's OK. After 27 years, we have learned things like this happen. We smile and start the adventure of another year in our marriage.

Our culture has become a disposable culture, which includes throwing people aside. Our spouses, our kids our faith. Marriages break up and kids live with parents separated. It has not always been an easy journey for my husband and I. We are very different and putting our lives together has been HARD work. But, we vowed for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health. And we have lived our vows. Now 27 years later, we celebrate a deep love which forgives each other for forgetting our anniversary; and smiles knowing other years we will remember with flowers, cards and celebration. After 27 years, the hard work has produced deep love, and that is something to celebrate!

What Impact Am I?

I am reading a book about a man, which had a brother that murdered two people. What strikes me is the impact of the killer on his family. The mother went insane, one brother went into crime and was murdered, another brother ran away and was never seen again: and the author ended up his whole life trying to prove his own worth and lack of idenity to his birth family.

The question that haunts me; as I finish this book, is what impact do I have in this world? A person who felt he had no influence changed the life of many people. We never know the power of just one life. What is the influence I have on my world?

Freedom

Today, in my country, we celebrate the freedom to speak freely. What a gift our ancestors gave us: freedom. America started as a country where prayer and justice were mixed. Many of our historical figures were on their knees seeking God for the wisdom to lead and make a country that was different.

Today, for me is Thanksgiving. Thanks for my country, for my God and the freedom to write about it. God bless America! and all peoples of the world which seek freedom, and compassion for mankind.

Ready for a Hand Out

I was entering a store today with a big basket full. A little boy about eight ran up and opened the door for me. I thought is was so cute; and I tipped him a dollar. His sister, seeing her brother got a dollar ran after me, "What About Me!"

Well, I smiled at her and said: "He helped me." I did not give her a dollar, as she needed to learn unselfishness. I know that she was unhappy, but she did nothing to help me though she was the older child. This experience reminds me of many Christians. They want all the benefits that God has to offer, with out any sacrifice. If we look at Jesus life it was all about sacrifice, so doesn't it make sense that we too should sacrifice?

I hope that, as a Christian: I am not like the little girl; ready for the handout, but not ready to serve.

Humbly Obedient?

Someone from my past contacted me by phone. He left a message for me to call; and I don't want to see him. He was a wicked, and selfish person when I knew him and he did a lot of damage to my family and I. But, I have been praying asking- what would Jesus want me to do?

I went to my pastor, which challenged me with the idea that perhaps this person had been sent by God to me: so that I could totally forgive him. I did not like that idea. I don't want to see the person, and don't feel a need to "make things right". I have forgiven the person but certainly not forgotten what he had done: and now to be challenged with the idea that I must make another step to reconcile really bothers me. But, what if my pastor is right? What if God has sent this person back into my life. Am I willing to keep back kindness and love, and true forgiveness? It is a challenge, and I am praying about it. Because true Christian's walk the extra mile.

I don't know if it is God's will for me to see that person. God is also a God of love, and he looks with compassion on me,e as well as this other person. God knows for me to see this person will be extremely painful- but if it is God's will.... I pray that I may be willing to be humbly obedient to God's challenge to accept and forgive.

Move to Heaven

It is late at night and I am thinking about the move we just made. For us, as a married couple this is the 18th move. And we are getting much more tired. But, when we closed up this last house I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. For five years we had lived in that house, and when I finished and left I knew that was a path we would never cross again. Many memories would be left at that house. My children would never be living with me again. My older neighborhood was the sweetest neighborhood we had ever lived in. And no more would I have a big front yard to decorate at Christmas.

As I thought of leaving that house, I thought of the move to heaven. While leaving here for eternity will be a move worth making: how many people will be left behind, because I simply did not do my part to share the love of God. It is a sobering thought, and I go to bed in a meditative state. I want to go home with all my family, and know I shared my love, faith and heart with them.

What I Should Do

Tonight I went to dinner and sat behind a man which was telling everyone at his table what they should do for God. I smiled, knowing someone else believed in God. Later I thought about his conversations and realized he never said anything he should do for God.

I wonder, if that is not me. So busy thinking of what others should do: I forget to be humble before God, and find out what I should do.