Freedom Through Forgiveness

My friend told me, "Terry needs healing being married to you." "Thanks Lois", I laughed. She is a counseling at her church, that specializes in healing of people through forgiveness. So when she told me my husband and I needed forgiveness healing I just smiled. She has many soap boxes and jumps from one to the other. Her new healing ministry was just another tangent I figured. But I agreed to read the book that she teaches from.

"Aw God...I don't want to read this book. I have plenty to do without reading another book." The book started out dull. Slow reading. But I prayed, "God if there is healing I need, then show me what needs to be healed."

Well, that prayer is sort of like the prayer asking for patience. Then you get trials. As I am reading the book, and now journaling, I realize I have lots of pain inside of me. Things I thought were "taken care of", but are not. Those pains affect my life. So I am humbling looking, listening and working through the things that are coming up. It is painful, but necessary for emotional growth.

I believe God wants us emotionally healthy. He knows the pains we have had to deal with. I am humbled that God cares.

The book I am reading is a ministry that asks the reader to forgive the person or situation that caused this pain. To seek God and let him heal you. Freedom Through Forgiveness : Nathan Daniel ISBN #1-931178-18-6

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Dad!

I am thankful for my father which has worked hard to be a good dad. Today so many people do not take their role as parent seriously, my dad did. And today I honor him. God has blessed us with my dad.

He Suffered Too

Recently it seems all around me are hurting people. My neighbor is losing her home. A friend called me to tell me that she is having a hard time coping. Yesterday a different friend called me crying and last week I spent trying to figure out the answer to questions that seem to have no answer.

I don't understand all suffering. I don't always understand why good people have hard things. Why children suffer so much on and on...

But when I raised my disabled child I found comfort in scripture that tells us clearly God cares for and knows the suffering of those that are at a disadvantage.

"Then I will draw near to you for judgement; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow and the orphan, and those who turn aside the alien and do not fear ME", says the Lord of hosts. Mal 3:5

I realized that God does have a special judgement for the oppressed and a special reward. Suffering hurts, but God sent his son to die: that hurt too. So he knows pain and I believe he cries with us.

I can't explain all pain. But I do believe we have a God that suffered too.

Abundant Life

I am sitting here, listening to my Christian music on the headsets. I am looking at pictures I have taken of this month. What an abundant life I have! Family, friends, a home and music of praise playing in my ears.

Abundance. That is the life God has promised, and it is the life I have. Thank you Jesus.

I'm Not Trying to Be Critical

Have you been watching the debates on who will be president? I have. I am not interested in politics, or sports. Does that sound unbelievable? Well, I just can't see spending lots of time on things I am not really involved in. If I pick a candidate- will it make a huge difference? Not really; but I do vote and I am watching.

What has amazed me more than anything is the amount of emotion that some fans have. Tears flow down their faces, tempers rare up- for what? I really wonder why "ordinary" citizens invest so much emotion into a candidate. I would understand if it was family, or maybe a friend: but someone that really does not know them. Hum. I respect the person that feels passion. I want to know what the passion does? How is that passion changing the world?

I am not trying to be critical of anyone. Certainly to feel so strong is admirable. But, it seems to me that the true passion we invest should be over eternal matters. Where is my passion today? Is my faith enough it brings tears? Do I believe strong enough to invest time, money and my soul in what I believe?

I thank all people that invest in worthy projects. Politics? Well, for me it is not what moves me. But I hope my faith does change the world- one person at a time, and maybe that is what these fine people wish for too.

God bless America and may we humbly seek God in it all. And may our candidate bring us closer to God. For that is my ruler,a leader that proved he was all about change: and willing to be a prisoner of war: the war of good and evil.

It Doesn't Look Like Much

OK, I realize this does not look like much; but it is heaven to me. This is my sad little backyard. The reason it is heaven to me is that I love my yard. Under these big leaves: bright pumpkins!

My yard is coming along slowly. When we took this house last year the yard looked much worse. There were weeds past our knees. The lawn was weed infested. This box where the pumpkins grow was a spot of grass which I changed to a flower bed. It does not look like much now- but I love my yard. In it I find peace, quiet and joy. Daily I search for new pumpkins. I add things and rearrange things. Slowly it is changing into more of a home than a weed patch. These changes come slowly, but they are coming.

One thing I think about when I am in my yard, is how much God must enjoy gardens. We are told that he made The Garden of Eden. What was in it? Paths with waterfalls? Maybe quiet sitting areas? Maybe a cozy spot overlooking the sea? I don't know; but I am sure God found joy in it.

As I learn more of life I believe God enjoys peace. He reaches us in ways of beauty and I believe his quiet places are when we hear Him the best.

God Still is in Control

I have always tried to be totally honest in this blog. I hate simplistic answers in faith. And recently I am struggling. I wonder where God is, and I feel pretty alone in my pursuit of Him. It seems I am doing the work: praying, studying, crying out to be heard. But no answer....

Recently I read in Oswald Chambers book that when we feel the most absent of God is when we are developing the most. Then is when we must stand on faith alone. I am not doing too well: but I stand on my faith. God is in control, and I will press onward.