Angry With God.

Today I was really sick. I battled my anxiety disorder which sometimes is very painful; terribly depressing and sometimes feels like life is not worth it. I was angry at God. "Why God, don't you release me from this illness? Where are you? Why can my mind keep me so sick!"

I really don't know the answers to all of those questions. But, I can answer some of my own questions. God never said life would be easy. Pain is a great purifier. Suffering brings out humbleness and God says he will never leave us. So by faith we can know, though he allows pain: he suffers too. What parent watches a child suffer and does not suffer also? Sometimes we have to watch as our child falls after taking his first step. We don't like the pain: but we want him to grow. God has to let us grow up also, and pain does that.

I feel better tonight. I remain in faith: but I hope next time to be more patient. I believe God has all things in control. I still believe God is love, and though today I was angry: tonight I am peace. The bible says, "All things work to the good of those that love God and do according to his purpose." I believe.