The Challenges Of Adoption

By Cindy Bigelow

November has been designated “National Adoption Awareness Month,” and it seems like the perfect time to share some of what I have learned this past year as the director of Chosen International, an organization offering emotional, spiritual and educational support to adoptive families.

Adoption touches so many lives. In fact, it is estimated that there are over 1.6 million children under the age of eighteen living in adoptive homes. When you consider the millions of adults who have also been adopted, and the adoptive parents, siblings, grandparents and other extended family members, as well as close friends, you realize that a large number of Americans are personally affected by adoption.

As Christians, we celebrate the fact that God has chosen to adopt us into His family, and loves us unconditionally. Spiritual adoption is a wonderful thing! And so is earthly adoption. However, the face of adoption has changed dramatically in just the past few decades.

Until recently, when someone said they were adopted it usually meant they were placed in their families as infants, with their birthmother making the decision to give them a chance at a life she couldn’t offer. This is the picture most of us have in our minds when we hear the word the word “adopted” used in the legal sense of the word. In fact, in 1970 (before legalized abortion) there were 172,000 adoptions in the United States, and all but 10% were infant adoptions. Last year, however, 90% of the children adopted arrived in their adoptive families from the foster care system, or through international adoption, at an average age of eight. These children bring with them additional deep layers of wounds from prior neglect and abuse that infant adoptions do not.

Many parents adopt these kids with “stars in their eyes” believing their love will be enough to heal hearts that have been so hurt. Unfortunately, many of these children’s hearts have hardened to protect themselves from more pain. The love of God and of compassionate adoptive parents, can’t sink in. Issues of rejection, abandonment, and shame, usually subconscious, can combine and cause self-destructive behaviors, and great problems in family relationships. Current research shows psycho neurological damage occurs when large amounts of cortical are released in response to severe trauma. This causes the brain to be “rewired” so that abused children truly do not process things the way most of us do. Educational and parenting strategies that work with other children do not work with these children. Most all adoptive parents really do try everything they possibly can to help their children, and the rest of us just can’t even begin to imagine what the adoptive parents of previously abused children go through.

The people who adopt these “social orphans” of our country are heroes to me. Talk about “pure and undefiled religion…” (See James 1:27) However, I am being contacted by parents from all over the country who are desperate for Christian support. They feel judged and deserted by the church in their times of greatest need, and there is great discouragement. Many are single women, as well as grandparents who find themselves now parenting the children whose own parents are drug addicted and neglectful. These families all so need those in the church, their church family, to wrap their arms around them and support them emotionally, spiritually and often, financially. I think the church, which encourages adoption, just needs to be educated on some of the special needs some adoptive families might have and how they can come along side them with support. So, that is what I am hoping to do with this article, and with resource materials being developed by Chosen International.

There is a huge void in post adoption services from a Christian perspective. Chosen International is working to develop programs that will help provide some of it. If you have not been to our website recently, visit www.choseninternational.org And during November, and always, when you thank God for adopting you into His family, I encourage you to think of ways you might personally support and encourage an adoptive family.

Cindy Bigelow writes from Grants Pass, Oregon.

Fine

By Bob Hansen

The English language can be so tricky. Often the innocent selection of a particular word can cause much pain. One word to especially watch out for is “fine.” Allow me to illustrate. It’s toward the end of dinner when your wife asks, “How did you like the new stroganoff recipe?”

To this question, a novice husband might reply, “It was fine.” In guy-thought, this is an entirely appropriate answer. In a man’s simplistic world things are either “fine” or “not fine.” There are only those two options. It is an elegantly, simple, straightforward, uncomplicated way of dealing with life—though apparently not the only way.

A man using the “fine” response may receive from his wife a reaction beyond his comprehension. She might say, “Well, that’s the last time I slave over a hot stove for you!” Understandably (to half the population) the man becomes flummoxed. He cannot, not even to save his life, grasp what he did wrong. Though from the look on her face, he has certainly transgressed.

Don’t get discouraged, men. With this disaster comes the opportunity for restoration. Hidden within the problem is a learning juncture, a chance to gain precious knowledge about your spouse.

Here is the key to understanding what happened when you said, “Fine.” You meant one thing; your wife heard something entirely different. You meant to indicate your approval of the meal, to reassure her that the food did its job. It filled your empty stomach while not offending your taste buds in the process. “Well done,” you meant to say.

But she didn’t discern your intent. She thought it a flippant remark, one spoken with no thought. Apparently you cared so little that you couldn’t take the time to form a complete and supportive answer. If you couldn’t comment on the delicious-tasting food itself, you might have at least noted the effort involved in its preparation.

Men, a better response in these situations would be something like: “That was a great meal, Honey. I can tell you worked hard on it, and I think that new recipe is a keeper.” I know you’ll feel funny saying that and you might even think it’s insincere. But you’ll actually be communicating the female equivalent of saying, “It was fine.” (Note: saying, “The food was very nutritious.” is not a suitable substitute for the above-suggested comment. Trust me.)

If only this were the end of the matter. Unfortunately, it’s more complicated.
In discussing the topic of meal-comments with my wife, she informed me that there are times when it’s okay to say the meal is fine. Oatmeal—when the meal consists of oatmeal, it is appropriate to use the word, “fine.” But my wife said that if a man refers to other meals using that word, he might very well receive oatmeal for every meal.

At first I thought this was a valuable clarification—at first. The distinction appeared to relate to the time of day when the food was consumed. For breakfasts - “fine” was acceptable. For dinner - no way! But what about lunch? Which way does that meal go? Then I realized that it might not be the time of day at all. The key might be the amount of energy invested in the food’s preparation.

But this still left me in a quandary. What kind of comment is appropriate for a spaghetti dinner? How about hamburgers? Does it make a difference if the hamburgers are served with grilled unions? What about lasagna? And what if the meal was served to guests? I suspect that additional compliments are called for on such occasions. But I’m not sure what they should be.

I realize I’ve made only a baby-step toward clarifying the matter. I also realize that many of you are thinking that this situation simply requires too much effort. Why can’t my wife simply adjust her understanding of the word, “fine?” I suspect that’s what many of you are thinking - though that idea has never occurred to me personally.

This might be an acceptable approach - if it weren’t for a couple of scriptures that come to mind. Romans 12:10: “Honor one another above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3: “In humility, consider others better than yourselves.” These indicate that waiting for others to adjust to me is not the way to go. I must be considerate of others, and adjust myself to them.

This is the harder alternative. But, in my experience, the God-designed, more-difficult way, results in the best outcome. I believe our marriages are worth the best result.

Bob Hansen writes from Chehalis, Washington. bhansen6@juno.com

Zacchaeus And Me

By Eleanor Cowles

“Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, ‘Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today’. So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter, ‘He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.’ But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.’” Luke 19: 1-10

Zacchaeus wanted only to see Jesus. He climbed a tree and sat in the curve of two branches. Sunlight filtered through green leaves, warming his face. He began to hear distant clamor, saw dust rising, and thought, “He’s coming. I hope I can see him in the crowd.” Then came the tall bearded man walking among the people, speaking to them, touching them. “At last I have seen him”, Zacchaeus thought. Just then Jesus stopped under the tree and looked up. “Come down, Zacchaeus! I will eat at your house today!” What did Zacchaeus feel at that moment…surprise… fear…excitement? We only know he scrambled down and hurried to prepare for his guest. Jesus did eat with him that day, and Zacchaeus’ life was changed.

Like Zacchaeus, I often want only to see Jesus. I want to attend church, sing choruses, hear a sermon, see Jesus, and then go home. When He calls, “Come down!” I am uncomfortable. “Come down! I have children who need a teacher. I have sick people who need comfort. I have many with empty lives who need someone to tell them about me.” Maybe if I let Him into my house my life, like Zacchaeus’, can also change.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to
go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.” John 15: 16

Eleanor Cowles writes from Independence, Oregon.

President Ronald Reagan Quote

“Without God, there is no virtue, because there’s no prompting of the conscience. Without God, were mired in the material, that flat world that tells us only what the senses perceive. Without God, there is a coarsening of the society. And without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure. If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.” –President Ronald Reagan

The statement by Ronald Reagan was shared at an Ecumenical Prayer Breakfast in Dallas, Texas, August 23, 1984. You can find the full speech on the following websites: American Presidency Project: http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=40282&st=&st1= or Ronald Reagan Presidential Library: http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/speeches/1984/82384a.htm

Who Is The One True God?

PrayerPower
By Petey Prater

Mohammed, an Egyptian Muslim, was my seatmate as we flew cross-country to Portland, Oregon. He’d worked at a firm near my home; we had many Oregon experiences in common. Soon we began discussing our different faiths.

My faith is rooted in the God of the Bible and his Son, Jesus. Mohammed’s faith is in the God of the Koran. I have peace that God is preparing a home for me in Heaven because “…everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Acts 2:21 I have called on Him.

Mohammed confessed, “I have no peace about eternity, but I feel I worship the true God.”

“Jesus is my best friend,” I said, “He counsels me and guides me when I pray to Him.”

“Oh no!” Mohammed exclaimed, startling me by actually slapping his cheek with his hand. “If I tried to talk to God he would slap my face.” We talked a little longer before ending amicably; but we both knew one of us was wrong. There is only one True God.

I challenged him with these words, “Ask God to show you if Jesus is the only way to Heaven. If you are sincere, He’ll reveal Himself to you.”

To the degree we know the character of the God of the Bible and His Word we will trust Him and pray to Him. What does the Bible tell us about God’s person and Word?

· God is a single being consisting of three inter-relating persons – God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. This concept is called the Trinity, three in One. He has always existed without any outside cause or agent having brought Him into being.
· God is Creator. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1 The earth and all He created belongs to Him; therefore He is sovereign over men’s kingdoms and lives.
· God is our Redeemer and Savior. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
· God is merciful. “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him…” Daniel 9:9
· God is faithful and just. “He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He.” Deuteronomy 32:4
· God is all knowing, all powerful, all present, and holy – His attributes are more than we can name.

God loves Mohammed and each of us with an everlasting love and draws us to Himself with kindness because He longs for friendship with us (Jeremiah 31:3). That is wonderful to contemplate; the God of all creation desires intimate fellowship with you and me!

The God of the Bible says: “Turn to me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.” Isaiah 45:22

Are we convinced? Will we choose fellowship with the God of all Creation? If we choose fellowship we must also choose followship. Join me, let’s follow the one True God together.

Petey Prater writes from Beaverton, Oregon. peteyprater@yahoo.com

When All Directions Seem the Same

By Nicholas Harrison

I’ve learned what it means to give up. For an afternoon I did. And what would have happened if I had carried through with my plan to quit law school and go home, I can’t tell you. I went to sleep that afternoon, woke up a few hours later, and started again. In those times I learned what it meant to force one foot down in front of the other; walking, perhaps marching forward, regardless of feeling. And a season like that did me some good, but the lessons were simple. Even if they were hard, they were simple. Keep pressing. Keep fighting.

If that was a blizzard march, this must be spring. I lived on ideas of what this might be like. And I had my ideas. But this newly-melted slush has taken me by surprise. I find it less comforting than I had expected. And I’ve even caught myself thinking about times in the future when I might have a simple task again: Move forward at all costs. But for now, I only wonder what it means to be faithful in the springtime slush, when all directions seem the same. And I’ve learned that there is such a thing as giving up, even here. There is still an Enemy waiting in the grass.

And all around are snares. Idols, set to the sun, by my hands and by the hands of others, point every which way. In a blizzard, such temptations are of no consequence. All you can do is move forward, anyway. But here, in the lulls of peace, they pose a special threat. I find my eyes straying. The proverbial question mark is hanging over my head, and I’m tempted to sprint. In any direction, even. I feel the compulsion to move, if only for motion’s sake.

Oswald Chambers said, “When God brings the blank space, see that you do not fill it in, but wait…When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.”

Chambers used the story of Peter on the night of Christ’s crucifixion. Wanting only to be faithful, Peter declared that he would die for Christ’s sake. Peter was honest, but naïve. He wasn’t asked to die that night. No blizzard poured down on Peter’s head.

His trial did come, but not on the terms he had expected. The Enemy did attack, and Peter did fall. He denied Christ three times. Peter braced himself for a Goliath, a black-and-white crisis that never came. It was the grey that overtook him.

This is hardly the end of the story, however. After the Resurrection, three times Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?" With each question and with each answer He gently restored to Peter all that his sin had cost him.

The lyrics of an untitled song evoke the image of something like Aslan:
Peace, be still tonight.
Peace, be still tonight
All the things you’re running from
Are broken at my feet

Hush, child don’t you fear
Hush, child don’t you fear
All you need to do
Is rest here at my feet

I’m whispering
You can’t fall but where my arms will reach and
You won’t miss all that I’ve planned for you

So then, what does it mean to be faithful in the springtime slush? Perhaps it means knowing that though all directions seem the same, they are not. There is indeed an Enemy waiting in the grass.

Nicholas Harrison writes from afar. Nicholas_Harrison@baylor.edu

The Wooden Bowl

Sent in by Kathy Anderst

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.

But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Kathy Anderst writes from Medford, Oregon.

The Ultimate Gift

Movie Review: The Ultimate Gift
Fox Faith (PG)

Review by Chad McComas

The Ultimate Gift is the type of movie that draws one into a heart-warming experience even though the story line is obvious. You know where it is going. A wealthy older man is dying…he decides to be wise in the distribution of his wealth…he has failed with his kids (they have been ruined by wealth), but he has hope for his grandson if…

The “if” is what the movie is all about.

James Garner does an excellent job endearing us to his role as Red Stevens. Red has more money than he knows what to do with, but he has accumulated it the old fashion way. He has earned it with good old-fashioned effort, sweat and dreams. Somehow his family hasn’t learned the lessons he learned and has become quite comfortable living a lifestyle off trust funds. All of their needs are being met with no effort on their part to earn it.

The grandson, Jason Stevens (played by Drew Fuller), hasn’t worked a day in his life. He is spoiled rotten like the rest of the family, but he has the same spark his dad had when he was young. It’s that spark that grandfather sees and banks on. He believes if he can put Jason through a series of tests or “gifts” as he calls them that Jason will become a wealthy man in character, heart, actions and of course money.

Movie viewers work through the series of “gifts” with Jason. They feel the pain of learning to work. They understand when Jason has to lose everything and find true friendship. Their hearts are touched as Jason learns to be a giver and not a taker. They feel the bond growing in their hearts as Jason meets Emily (played byAbigail Breslin) and her mother Alexia (played by Ali Hillis). He learns to love them in a way he has never understood in his life before.

The job that Abigail does with the role of Emily has you laughing one minute and crying the next. She truly brings a spark of joy to the movie and to life. We are encouraged to live life to the fullest and take advantage of each life experience as it comes. Who knows when it will be our last?

It is touching to see the changes that come over Jason as he works through his “gift.” But, perhaps the Ultimate Gift isn’t as much about Jason and his grandfather Red as it is about all of us as we seek to make a difference in this world. Jason passes each test as it comes and is eventually given the Ultimate Gift of making a difference. It isn’t about money…it is all about character and life –living. It’s about truly learning to be a man of wealth.

Chad McComas writes from Medford, Oregon.

The Real Miracle of Restoration

By Beverly Hill McKinney

When I was growing up, I loved the miracles from the Bible. Living near the ocean, it fascinated me to think that Moses led the people across a sea onto dry land. I would gaze at the ocean and imagine waves splashing on each side with a dry path through the middle. What a great God.

Also the story in Exodus of God feeding the children of Israel manna in the wilderness made an impression on me. Food was scarce at our house and the Lord providing food filled me with wonder.

Neither could I even imagine the three Hebrew children that were thrown in the fiery furnace. What bravery. Yet, there was God in their midst.

As I began to study the New Testament, the miracles of Christ were also awe inspiring to me.

In John 2:1-10 we read of the first public miracle of Jesus. Attending a wedding feast, Jesus mother realized there was no wine. She came to him and asked if he could do something to help out. Jesus told the servants to bring water pots and as the water was poured forth, the water turned to wine.

In Luke 9:13-17 we read the story of the feeding of the five thousand. From a small boy’s lunch of five loaves and two fish Jesus multiplied the food enough to feed the entire multitude with basket fulls left over.

Mark 4:36-40 states that even the winds and waves obeyed the Savior’s voice. Although the disciples saw the many miracles Jesus performed, they were frightened when a storm came up on the Sea of Galilee. As Jesus slept, they became more and more fearful, finally calling on him to help least they die. By merely a spoken word, the storm calmed. I have seen severe storms come up on the ocean and it was always amazing to me that by a mere word, Jesus could still a storm.

When illness or death overtakes someone we love, we seek the Lord for healing and comfort. In John 11:1-44 is the story of the raising of Lazarus. How Mary and Martha grieved for their dear brother. As Jesus approached their home, Mary ran out and said “If thou hadest been here, my brother had not died.” How like Mary we are to look at our earthly circumstances and not see the miracles waiting to happen. What joy there was a few moments later when Jesus called Lazarus forth from the grave. Just imagine, Jesus had power even over death.

I was sitting in church a few weeks ago, and at the end of the service the pastor extended an invitation for anyone to accept Christ as their Savior. As I watched, a young man came forward weeping openly. As the pastor prayed with him, I sat in my seat and thanked the Lord for His ability to change a life. I prayed for a few more minutes and then left for home.

Sometime later that afternoon, I was convicted by my lack of response to this miracle in our midst. As I thought of how miracles in the Bible always moved me and the deep lessons they had instilled in my life, I realized how casual I had looked at a true miracle right before my eyes. In Luke 15:7 it states, “…Joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth…” Here it states that even Heaven rejoices when a soul is restored. This realization humbled me to think that I had seen a real miracle before my eyes.

A stanza in an old hymn reads,
“It took a miracle to put the stars in place.
It took a miracle to hang the world in space;
But when he saved my soul,
Cleansed and made me whole,
It took a miracle of love and grace.”

That is the real miracle of restoration.

Beverly Hill McKinney writes from Rogue River, Oregon. bmckinnehill@yahoo.com

The Next Guest

By Lynn Ludwick

“May I help the next guest in line?” I first heard that question at a department store and it irked me. I next heard the same words in a fabric store. Why did they consider me a guest? When I reached the cash register the clerk issuing the invitation asked for the green stuff or plastic in exchange for the merchandise in my shopping cart—no giveaways there. Then my bank took up the slogan. Was this a new trend?

This whole guest concept in marketing is supposed to make me feel special. Tea at a girlfriend’s home makes me feel special—being lured into a place of business out to milk my wallet does not. When people come to my home as genuine guests I do serve a refreshments and offer hospitality. What I don’t do is hand them a tab at the door. “Pay up now, Guests, this privilege is gonna cost ya.”

This Thanksgiving I’ll join others at my son and daughter-in-law’s home to eat and celebrate our thanks for our myriad blessings. The bond of family, the excitement of being in their newly-remodeled home, the joy of our ninety-three year old mother/grandmother still with us, the delight of squealing toddlers. We’ll gather around the table and lounge in the living room, eat too much, laugh, and snap pictures. For free! Well, they will extract a slight charge from me—a pecan pie and a side dish.

Yet another table awaits, The Banqueting Table prepared by God for His family. “He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.” Song of Songs 2:4 By contrast, that event will make Norman Rockwell’s Thanksgiving portrayal look like a TV dinner.

There I’ll be an honored guest in response to The Grand Invitation issued by God Himself. “Come, Lynn, be saved from yourself, from your sins, from eternal damnation.”

“Uh, what’s this going to cost?” I was skeptical.

“Death,” He replied without batting a divine eye.

I gasped, but He hurried on. “Oh, don’t worry. Jesus picked up the tab. He died for you and the price has been paid. So come on in.”

Before then I may join Him at other tables He has prepared—a “table-for-two” called prayer where I may join my Lord anytime, my kitchen table where I sit and read what He wrote to me in the Bible, the Communion table where He and I meet to remember Jesus’ sacrifice and to rearrange my heart.

I’ve sat at a lot of earthly tables, both as a guest and as the hostess. As a young bride I hosted eighteen for Thanksgiving, and decades later tucked in eleven family members for a week of Christmas celebration. I’ve thrown kids’ birthday and Christmas parties, tea parties, brunches, luncheons, barbeques and dinners. And I’ve attended such events in friends’ and relatives’ homes.

So many marvelous events, but they pale in comparison to that ultimate banquet—a mere foretaste. I have quite an imagination, so indulge me here. Picture people from all over the world, all races, all sizes, some in turbans and flowing robes, some in loincloths, others in suits, some in sunbonnets. Others will wear the garb of Moses or David. And oh yes, they will be there. Imagine meeting them face-to-face. The food will be divine, literally, and no cleanup. (Surely there won’t be dishes to wash in Heaven.) All will understand the conversation. No theology implied here, just a bit of daydreaming. What I do know for certain is being a guest at that table will surpass anything I might conjure in my imagination.

So the next time I’m stuck in line at a store and someone calls me a guest, I’ll swallow my annoyance. With all I have to anticipate, I’ll humor their silly ploys. After all, I anticipate residing in God’s home and eating at His table as a no-charge guest. Forever. Wow!

But until then, I’m looking forward to the upcoming Thanksgiving feast. As a genuine no-charge guest.

“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” Psalm 23:5-6

Lynn Ludwick writes from Medford, Oregon. lynniegirl45@hotmail.com

The Most Important Truth…I Can Be Wrong

By Bob Hoyle

In my years of being a Christian and my personal search for truth in the Word of God I have come to know one truth for certain…I can be wrong. The Word of God itself teaches me that.

Paul’s warnings concerning false teachings abound in the New Testament as he admonishes his brothers not to be deceived; meaning that they can be deceived by false doctrine even though they are saved. Check out the letter to the Galatians and discover that some in the Body of Christ were being deceived concerning keeping the law.

If we believe something to be sure, certain, with no doubt about it and then discover that we were wrong…does our original belief change what truly is? For example, let’s say we believe that hell isn’t real, but a metaphorical place. If hell turns out to be a real place does it matter if we didn’t believe it in the first place? Of course not.

Does this mean that I can’t have fellowship with a brother or sister in Christ who believes differently about that than I do? Careful, we might trap ourselves with your answer!

Why do we separate ourselves from our brothers and sisters in Christ for not believing exactly like we do about something that has nothing to do with salvation by grace through faith? Could it be that we just can’t admit that perhaps what we believe might be wrong? Or could it be that we just can’t stand to be around someone that threatens our little pet doctrine?

Shortly after being saved I joined a church. Now this (admittedly) comes from someone who believed someone could pack up a tent, some water, a few provisions, and go camp out on a mountaintop somewhere for a month, open the Bible, in prayer ask God for truth and he would come off the mountain knowing more about truth and the will of God than someone who spent years in a seminary. I’m still not sure I wasn’t right about that one. Here’s what happened. I joined a church and as they pulled out their “selective” verses from the Bible, they showed me their pet doctrine and why it was true. They got me hook, line and sinker.

But that wasn’t the worse part. The worse part was that I was totally convinced “we were right and everyone else was wrong.” I could not fellowship outside of our “non-denominational denomination.” I wasn’t even sure if anyone outside of our “little click” could be saved, seeing as how they didn’t believe what we did.

Did the fact that I could be persuaded to believe false doctrine negate the fact that God had saved me previous to the acceptance of that doctrine? No. I’m so thankful that my salvation is not contingent upon my ability to never be wrong.

So, what has happened to the original church? Where did it go? Where are all those brothers and sisters in Christ that could hang out together and fellowship together in love for one another, even though they didn’t agree 100% on some issues? Where are the Christians that could love one another past the “he eats meat sacrificed to an idol and I don’t?” Or the ability to come together as members of the same Body and exhort one another even though some “had a special day to the Lord, and some treated every day alike?” (See Romans 14: 3-6)

The only thing I can find in the Word of God that commands me to stop fellowship with a brother or sister in Christ is if they are living lives that are in direct contradiction to “Godly living” (I Corinthians 5:11).

Too often we do just the opposite in today’s 20th century Christianity. We fellowship with those who are “drunkards or fornicators.” But, we have withdrawn our fellowship from those who don’t believe exactly as we do about our pet doctrines. We ignore the counsel given to us about taking a brother to the courts rather than to the church to settle issues. The first thing we do is find ourselves a lawyer and take a brother to court for restitution. I can go on and on about what we don’t do in the name of our Lord and Savior. The Word of God tell us to (Hebrews 10:25) and yet we find the most ridiculous excuses to disobey the Word of Truth in order to justify our behavior.

Let’s get right down to brass tacks. We love our doctrine above our Lord or each other. It’s called “religion.”

There are those that believe there are too many contradictions in the Bible for it to be taken literal in its entirety. What seems to be a contradiction in most cases is a misunderstanding of the Scripture and our dogmatic view of how we interpret it. If it seems to contradict something we have already made up our mind about, then we dismiss it instead of going back to evaluate why we believe what we believe in the first place. Was it something I was taught to believe? Was it a preconceived idea based upon an intellectual understanding of what a certain word means to me? And we overlook the most important question of all; does it matter enough to God for me to divide myself from a brother or sister in Christ that does not understand it to mean what I think it means?

It’s said we never want to talk about politics or religion at the dinner table or we may end up wearing our dinner. The reason is simple. We believe we are right!
As I first stated, I have learned one truth for certain…I can be wrong.
How about you?

Bob Hoyle writes from Tallahassee Florida.

The Mission of Parenting

By Rawly Glass

Most people have heard of Enron. The flavor in our minds isn’t pleasant. It’s bitter and tastes like blatant disregard for the front line employee.

Enron started out selling energy and managing gas pipelines, but lost focus. The executive team’s purpose shifted to protecting the company, safeguarding their image, and making executives rich. They lost focus on their purpose, the front line, where they were going, and what their mission was. In 2001, after six years of being voted most innovative company, Enron was exposed and imploded. It was total disintegration. Much like what has been happening to families today.

Christians blame “the world” for the demise of the family. We say that the influence of television, music, schools, politics, magazines, etc create our parenting problems and problems with our children. But this doesn’t help much.

I propose an alternate explanation. We lack a clear mission. This is the problem. Most of us don’t know why we are doing what we are doing. Further, to make sure I step on everyone’s toes, most of us who were at one time clear about the purpose of parenting have become distracted and our purpose is not the purpose we are called to according to the Bible.

A mission is the underlying purpose for being. The importance of having a parenting mission can’t be over emphasized. It is vital that we understand why we do this thing called parenting.

Purpose defines why we do what we are doing. But it also clarifies what we are doing. If we don't understand our purpose, we can't understand what it is we are really supposed to do.

For example:
· The majority of school systems no longer understand their true purpose. The system tries to make children fit it’s idea of education rather than creating education around the developmental process of children.
· Many churches have lost their true purpose - they are all over the map in what they are doing. Churches blame the secular community for their struggles, rebelliousness, and lack of attendance rather than focusing on the Good News that can create a powerful, irresistible, positive draw to God.
· When businesses like Enron lose focus on their purpose many hard working, devoted people are hurt and suffer unnecessarily.
· Governmental agencies that loose focus become powerful oppressors of the very people they exist to protect and support.

Any organization - be it government, private, family, business, spiritual or secular - that does not first understand it’s purpose and mission will inevitably end up distracted and off course. It is guaranteed to miss the mark. We all pay the price.

Therefore, as parents, we must first understand our mission. Our purpose is the measurement we use to determine success. It is impossible to understand how successful we are unless we know what our purpose is and where we are going. Let’s look at this in the context of obedience.

More than obedient children
I believe most parents will say that the mission of parenting is: “training children to be good and obedient, and to honor God and their parents.” They may add, to live long “productive” lives, which is based on being obedient children. (besides…the 10 commandments tell us so in Exodus 20:12).

But, if we are to be successful as parents, we must understand that parenting is not about raising obedient, respectful, or honorable children. Even though this has value, it is not the primary mission of parenting. The true purpose of parenting is much bigger. A behavior focus to parenting will always lead us into deep trouble. We may end up with compliant children, but in 99% of the cases, this makes them easy prey for a secular world where everyone is telling them what to do. When obedience is the primary purpose we actually predispose our children to legalism, conditional acceptance, judgment, criticism, and control by the larger media and community.

When obedience is our primary mission, we will determine our success or failure based on the obedience of the children. If the child is compliant, obedient, honoring, then we feel good about our parenting. When we see obedient children, we think, “their parents must be wonderful parents.” But this is not necessarily true.

Obedience is a side benefit, not the actual goal. Children raised by parents that operate from a Biblically based mission will end up with obedient children that honor them and God, but this is not the primary focus of parenting activity.

Having obedience as our mission leads us to teach our children to be controlled by external forces rather than from within. We teach them to comply with external demands. They don’t learn the skills necessary to make their own decisions, be focused on a task, and have goals that they embrace and pursue. They are subject to the strongest external force around them. It may be peers, TV and media, a boss, girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, neighbor, or any number of powerful influences that blast their message. Some people do actually mature through this process and reach a state of self-directness, but by far most do not.
Parenting driven by the mission outlined in the Bible results in children who are powerfully self-directed. The self is God-oriented. These children are powerful positive influences. They create their powerful environment rather than being created by the world inflences. When raised by parents with a clear Biblically defined mission, children will automatically honor and respect authority. But using this as a measure of “good” or “bad” children or “good” or “bad” parenting creates short-term external symptoms. This breeds what we call “image management” or “look good” addictions.

Parenting driven by obedience too often creates “rebellious children.” When this happens these same parents point the finger of shame and condemnation at their children. Rebellion is more a result of control-oriented parenting than “bad” children. It has more to do with the punishment philosophy promoted by some self proclaimed Bible experts than with children who are lost or evil by nature. This control-oriented parenting and punishment philosophy is usually called “discipline,” but when we look at what is actually happening it is clearly punishment.

Enron’s mission was to provide energy to the nation, but it ended up draining energy out of the culture. This is what we do as parents when we make obedience our focus. Instead of building powerful self-directed children we create people without direction that are easily controlled by a dominate culture.

Conclusion
A person, a family, or an organization without a purpose flounders. Results are many and varied, but none good. An unethical, immoral, or downright evil purpose wreaks immeasurable havoc and sorrow in the world. So, it is not enough to have a purpose. Our purpose must have value and be honorable.

Mission is first. Purpose is primary. Knowing what parenting is all about must be our first work as parents. The Bible is very helpful in this arena. It clearly defines the purpose of parenting. Our purpose directly defines what we are to do as parents and how we deal with and respond to our children.

Next month I’ll share the meat of the mission from my study of Scripture. I believe you will be excited.

Rawly Glass writes from Medford, Oregon. rglass@relationshipsfirst.net

The Ministry of Business Owners

By Mickey Lufkin

Throughout the Word of God, there are convicting scriptures. “For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God” (Romans 3:23) is such a scripture. Until we admit to our sin filled nature, there can be no hope for our regeneration.
Other scriptures that have universality among born again Christians include the following: “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” Galatians 6:7 “The fear of God is the beginning of understanding …” Proverbs 1:7 “Judge not lest ye be judged” Matthew 7:1 Two such convicting scriptures have governed the decisions that I have been making as a born again Christian for the past twenty years of my life. They have made me realize that I am a Christian – a follower of Christ – as a private, public, and businessperson.

The first scripture that convicted me towards a much bolder walk with our Lord is found in both Mark 8:38 and Luke 9:26. “For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” This scripture has made me realize that, no matter where I go or what I do, Christ, who lives in me, knows when I am ashamed or apologetic before anyone I may encounter. This is revealed in my chosen vocation and in my business. I was providentially led to my present business (The Master’s Music and Learning Center) when God spoke to my heart about the large population of runaways and abandoned youth in the Rogue Valley area. As a semi-retired schoolteacher and professional musician, I had begun to realize that God’s purpose for me was to use my gifts for His glory and the advancement of His kingdom. Since music has long been considered the “universal” language, my obedience to His calling led to a ministry of offering instruments and lessons to youth who were in need of a friend that would never “leave or abandon them.”

The Master’s Music and Learning Center is a part of a non-profit organization called Neglected Youth Outreach, Inc. (NYO) We have highly trained teachers who lovingly share their gifts with those who desire to learn to play an instrument or improve their singing. As donations and grants become available, youth from families living on low incomes will be given scholarships for lessons and discounts on instruments. All money received will go towards lessons, which will in turn pay the wages of our teachers.

The second scripture that empowered my present walk with Christ is one that can make every Christian tremble when they hear it. “Many will say to me on that day ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name, cast out demons in your name, and done many wonders in your name?’ Then I will declare to them ‘ I never knew you; depart from me you who practice lawlessness!’” Matthew 7:22-23

I was taught years ago that Christ desires us to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, and visit those in prison. Recently I was taught that the final judgment and reward would depend on sins of omission.

As Christian business owners, we are commanded to be servants to all. We who have surrendered our will to our Lord are now bondservants of Christ. We are to think of others before ourselves. In our business practices, we must maintain the highest level of honesty, integrity, and joy in our work. It is my opinion that each of us should “market” our love for the Lord, and boldly state “As for me and my house (business} we will serve the Lord.


Mickey Lufkin writes from the Rogue Valley, Oregon.

Singing For My Mom

By Barbara Altamirano

My mother always had a beautiful voice. When I was a small child, I always sat next to her in church listening to her sing the hymns. I probably tried to sing along, but never with that much enthusiasm. In my teen years I became a little rebellious. Although I did go to church, no one could force me to sing.

It wasn’t that I had anything against singing, exactly. After all, I loved singing in the privacy of my room or anywhere when I was alone. Of course, the songs I sang were the popular rock songs of the day – not boring old church hymns.

I did belong to my high school’s chorus. I was a little unsure of my voice so in chorus I sang very softly. In fact so softly, that when our choral director spoke of ‘deadwood’ in our ranks, I felt sure he meant me. In chorus I sang a little. In church I still hardly ever sang. Although the choral songs weren’t the songs I listened to on the radio, at least they weren’t church music.

When in my twenties I had finally outgrown my teenage rebelliousness and I began to appreciate some of the hymns. Most of the hymns that I did like were Christmas songs. I still really hadn’t learned to appreciate the non-Christmas songs.

After I got married and started a family of my own I attended church and sat next to my mom. When I was near her I always heard her clear strong voice during all the hymns. Later when she joined our church choir and knowing her voice was one of the group was the next best thing to hearing her singing next to me.

She managed to remain a member of the choir for quite a while even after being diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, a terminal lung disease. Her determination to keep singing even when breathing was difficult spoke to her love of singing and singing for the glory of God.

Eventually, she was forced to quit the choir, but not without much regret. When I sat next to her, I heard her voice, and it was surprisingly still pretty strong. I didn’t want to imagine a time when I would no longer hear it.

But that horrible day did come. We went to church to commemorate her life and for one of the first times in my life I really wanted to sing – especially the songs that I knew had been her favorites. However, my tears made that impossible. I wondered if I would ever be able to sing these songs – songs that I now suddenly realized were beautiful – without my tears stopping me.

On the first Easter without mom I was able to start singing the hymns, but not far before the tears started. One Sunday in Advent, close to a year after my mom’s passing, almost without realizing it, I found myself singing. During one of the songs I experienced a calm consoling feeling that enveloped me. For a moment I thought I heard a clear strong voice that sounded just like my mother. It took me a few seconds to realize that the voice I heard was my own.

Barbara Altamirano Watertown , Connecticut. baltamirano@optonline.net

Restored by Grace

By Fred Wikoff

My wife likes collecting and restoring antiques. She has two dolls from the mid teens that set facing each other in a basket on top of an old treadle sowing machine in our recreation room. A Christian friend initially had them as a child and my wife restored them for her. But out of love the friend gave them back to my wife because she wanted her to have them when she died.

The friend passed away early this year, but the dolls remain as a testimony to the many years of a dear and happy friendship. They entice visions of simpler times, crammed with shared activities and fun filled days. But most of all they bring back the joy our friend expressed upon seeing her dolls restored to their earlier splendor.

People restore things for many different reasons. My wife restored the dolls out of love for our friend. Old paintings, cars, and houses are restored to preserve them, or simply to make them look or run better. My computer has a restore program on it, so, if the computer stops working correctly, I can restore it to a time when it was running properly. Whatever the reason, it often seems that we spend as much time restoring things from the past as we do inventing new things.

This should not be totally surprising. Man is noted for resisting change, and restoration could be said to be a backhanded, if not covert, way of resisting it. But at the same time it also gives us a worthwhile feeling of accomplishment, similar to making something new, and preserves the best of the past to help us progress toward the future.

Christ’s Church has a long tradition of blending the past with the future. Martin Luther and the protestant reformation aside, the Church has historically sought to restore itself. Even the Apostles saw the need to warn straying believers to stop following false doctrines and teachings and return to the truth of Christ. (See Galatians 1:6-9)

In fact restoration could be said to be an underlying theme throughout the entire Bible. Ever since man let sin separate him from God in the garden, he has tried to restore his former relationship, but failed, and continues to fail miserably. He fails because he does not have the power to free himself from sin.

How did man get into such a dire predicament? God certainly didn’t create him this way. In the beginning man had dominion over the earth. He had a special relationship with God built upon trust and understanding. The world was created for man and he was the boss as long as he trusted God. (See Genesis 1:26-28)
Then Satan came into the picture. You know the story. In one bit of disloyalty and greedy ambition, man transferred his trust in God, along with his dominion over the world, to Satan; and sin was born.

Sin can be likened to a black hole in outer space. Once anything gets within the grasp of its gravitational field it’s powerless to free itself, and is sucked hopelessly inward with no hope of escape. This is mans predicament in regards to sin. He is caught in sin’s deadly grip and can’t free himself, and faces certain death without God’s intervention: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

Fortunately, what man could not do on his own God did for him. That’s why we call salvation a gift. Christ death on the cross provides a way for us to be free from sin and restore our lost relationship with the Father, and escape spiritual death. He entered into heaven, “…to appear in the presence of God on our behalf . . . once for all at the end of the age to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.” (See Hebrews 9:24-26)

The dolls that my wife restored will in time deteriorate into oblivion unless someone else again restores them. Christ’s victory over sin and the subsequent restoration of our access to the Father is for eternity.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:1-2

Fred Wikoff writes from Eugene, Oregon. EugeneSpud@msn.com

The Secret To HOW to be Restored

By Chad McComas

David understood what it meant to being restored. He shared in his now famous song (Psalm 23) of how God was his shepherd and he was God's sheep. In one of the few verses he talked about how God “restores” his soul. In “sheep” language that meant that when he was upside down on his back with his feet sticking up in the air he needed his shepherd to pick him up and put him back on his feet. There was no way he could do it himself.

There is no way we can “restore” ourselves in life. We need a shepherd too. How silly it must look to see a sheep struggling to get back up by itself. Rather, it is very serious, for if the sheep doesn't get righted back on its feet it will die. If we don't get righted back (restored) on our feet in life we will surely die as well. Yet, we continue to struggle to do it ourselves. We spend all kinds of energy and effort flailing our arms and legs in life only to get worn out and eventually die.

What is the secret to being restored? It is amazingly simple, yet much too hard for most. Ask HOW and we have our answer.

HOW = Humble. Open. Willing.

Our restoration is all about who is in charge. Us or God? (humble) About letting God be in charge. (willing) And about doing things God's way. (open)

HUMBLE
James tells us: “Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

Micah asked us: “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Solomon said: “Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4

Jesus told us: “Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Luke 18:14

God tells us: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

There is no doubt that when we choose to be humble...great things will happen. God is anxious to restore us, but He can't do anything in our lives until we know we can't do it by ourselves.

OPEN
The prodigal son tried it his way. When he ended up in the pig pen we are told that “he came to himself.” He realized that his way didn't work. He was open to going home and doing it his father's way. Being open to hearing God opens the door for the Holy Spirit to do His “restoration” work. In Revelation we are told that those who are blessed are those who “read” and “hear” God's words. (See Revelation 1:3) In other words being teachable, being “open” opens the doors for us (no pun intended)

Jesus tells us in Revelation 3:20: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.”

WILLING
Am I willing to let God call the shots in my life? Will I let Him drive the car? Will I follow His agenda? Will I pray? Will I forgive? Will I witness? Will I tithe?

Jesus told us to pray: “Your kingdom come, your will be done...” Matthew 6:10 It's God's way or no way. James says: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” James 1:22

Now we know HOW to be restored.

Chad McComas writes from Medford, Oregon.

Our Life Advertisement

By Muriel Larson

Every morning the school traffic patrolwoman stood at her station conducting traffic and helping the children get across the road safely. Every morning a certain man came down that road, slammed on his brakes, and scowled at her. As his car passed, she noticed a sign on the back bumper saying, "God Loves You." She had a slight acquaintance with the man and knew he professed to be a Christian.

Finally she could take it no longer. One day she waved the man over to the curb. "Sir," she said, "you have a sign on your car that says 'God Loves You.' But anyone looking at you would get a distinctly different message. Now I suggest you either remove the sign or take that scowl off your face!"

The man looked at her in surprise and embarrassment. Then he drove on. From that time on, the patrolwoman noticed the man's scowl was replaced by a cheerful expression, and he smiled at her as he drove by.

Many of us do not realize that the appearance we give to the world contradicts our Christian profession! We're harried, we're rushed, we're impatient. We growl, we scowl, we howl. Yet we may profess to be Christians, and we may even have a sign on our car or house that testifies for the Lord.

A young door-to-door salesman told me how he went to one house, and on the door was a sign, "Jesus will put a smile on your face."

He rang the doorbell. The woman who came to the door frowned at him and exclaimed in a sharp, angry voice, "Yeah? What d'ya want?"

Truly, that's the sort of thing that makes young people and others doubt Christianity! And it's really a shame how many of us parents talk a good Christianity, but live a bad testimony in front of our children! The Lord Jesus said, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Matthew 15:8

The things we say and do arise from our heart condition. Just as that driver didn't realize what a bad impression he was making on the traffic patrolwoman and others, we often don't realize the impressions we may be making on our families and others.

So where can we start to bring our words and actions into line with our Christian profession? Let's start with our heart. For Jesus said that all of the hateful things we say and do come from our hearts (Mark 7:20-23).

That driver changed after the patrolwoman rebuked him. No doubt he felt ashamed of himself, and perhaps he repented of his un-Christian attitude and got right with the Lord. True repentance packs power. It causes us to abhor our former wrong ways and thus can result in a transformation in our thinking and our lives!

Someone has said, "What you are speaks so loudly that I can't hear what you're saying." What do our lives tell others about our Christianity?

Muriel Larson writes from Greenville, South Carolina. MKLJOY@aol.com

None so Blind

By Marcia Leaser

"You can't lead me, you're blind" I said...
but as he took my hand.
I saw things through his sightless eyes –
I never knew were grand.
The beauty of a raindrop,
the softness of a rose.
The texture of a maple leaf,
and the silence of the snow.
I then realized as I followed,
this man that could not see.
With eyes that were not blinded…
I saw far less than he.



Marcia K. Leaser writes from Fremont, Ohio.

My Hero

By Nancy Canwell

My big brother Dan is my hero. That might sound unusual, considering that I’m in my forties. But it started back when we were kids….

Nearly four years older than me, Dan was my protector. When the bully next door smashed my stick horse into the sidewalk, it was Dan who marched over to his house, broken pieces in hand. He made it clear to the bully that he was to leave his little sister alone.

When we hit our teen years I looked up to him even more. He was one of the three “cool guys” in our church youth group, and would often let me sit in on their guitar practices as they dreamed of being a 70’s band. When he’d tell his friends, “My little sister’s coming with us,” no one would argue. Once he even let me ride in the back seat of his ’57 Chevy when he went on a date!

When I was old enough for my first date, Dan had “the talk” with Roger, who asked me out to the County Fair. He made him promise to drive the speed limit, to never leave me alone, and to return me home safely.

Still a Hero
I really thought my big brother was something back then. He’s still my hero today, but for more significant reasons. Recently Dan battled cancer for more than five months--and I mean battled. He fought it every way he could: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

He fought it physically by opting to try radiation and chemotherapy, even though doctors told him the cancer was inoperable and incurable. He fought it for us, his family; he didn’t want to leave us. “I want to be in every family picture,” he told Mom. And he fought it for God, because he felt his ministry as a youth pastor wasn’t over yet. He only stopped fighting the day his doctor walked into his hospital room and gently said, “Dan, the chemo isn’t working anymore. It’s time to go home now.” He died at home two days later. And if he’d been given the chance, I believe he would have even fought those last two days, too.

He fought it emotionally by struggling to dwell on the positive and thinking of other’s needs. Whenever negative thoughts haunted him, he rejected them for positive ones. We talked almost nightly by phone, and I can’t remember any conversation that ended in a discouraged or negative way. Even if he’d been anxious or crying, he’d pull himself together and say, “I’ll be okay, Nanc.” Rather than talking only about his illness, he’d often ask how my family was doing, or what I’d done that day. I remember one call when I was the one crying. That night he comforted me. Even on the day he died, he thought of me. That last morning, he looked me directly in the eyes and said, “Don’t get sick, Nanc.” Those were the last words he spoke to me. At the end, he was still being my protective big brother.

He fought it spiritually in a powerful way. He began each new day of life with God, thankful to be alive. His strength came from choosing: choosing to read his Bible, choosing to fill his home with worship music, and choosing to pray. He shared his most private and personal thoughts with God—his fears, his worries about leaving his wife and kids, his pain—yet he never blamed. He knew that the enemy had caused this, not God. He told me, “The Devil doesn’t want to just take away my health or my life. He wants to take away my joy. But I’m not going to let him!” And he didn’t. A favorite text that saw him through many restless nights was Psalms 63:6-8: “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I stay close to you; your right hand upholds me.” This text also saw him through his final moments, for even on his deathbed he remembered God, and God’s right hand did hold him up. When Dan could no longer speak, our Dad leaned over and said, “Dan, we’ll meet in heaven….” And he nodded. He knew the final outcome. Praise God, he knew.

His Life an Inspiration
The way Dan lived the final months of his life was an inspiration to many—especially to me. And I needed to tell him so. Near the end he became so weak that we had to take him to the ER. Alone with him there, I took his hand.
“Dan, I have something to tell you, and I really need you to hear me, okay?”

In a weak voice he said, “Okay.”

“You’re an inspiration to me,” I said. “You’ve gone through so much, and yet you don’t complain. You never give up. Watching you go through this makes me feel that I can face whatever tough things might come my way. You’re my hero.”

Tears formed in his eyes. “Thanks, Nanc.”

My Promise
The day after we brought him home, the Hospice nurse said “It will be today.” Our family gathered around his bed. Moments before he died I told him that I would share his story--that I’d write about the things his struggles taught me. “It can help other people,” I assured him. “This way, your ministry will live on….”

So I write my brother’s story because it teaches this: Though you will have troubles in this world, they don’t have to break you. Your prayers may seem to go unanswered, but the silence doesn’t have to destroy your faith. You may ask, “Why?” but your questioning doesn’t have to lead to unbelief. The Devil will try to steal your joy, but you don’t have to let him take it.

Whatever pain you may face now or in the future, with God’s help you can win the battle. The darkness of this world does seem unbearable at times, but a better world is coming. How do I know? God has promised, and I choose to believe him. It’s as simple as that. I’d be overcome with grief if I thought I’d never see my brother again. As 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, I must now “live by faith, not by sight.”

Dan stayed faithful to the end.

So will I.

So can you.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” Romans 8:18

Nancy Canwell writes from College Place, Washington. This article was first published by StoryHarvest at www.storyharvest.org . Reprinted with permission by the author. All rights reserved.

Looking Up With Sheri Rose

From Behind The Counter
Perspectives on the Landscape of Life
By DJ Note

The Rogue Valley Mall Evangel Bookstore in Medford had the privilege of hosting a book signing for royalty one Saturday afternoon not long ago. Sheri Rose Shepherd, the former Mrs.United States and author of numerous books, travels throughout the country translating her inspiring life story into life-giving hope through Jesus Christ.

Growing up in a dysfunctional home environment, Sheri Rose was severely overweight as a teen. As a young woman, she battled depression, an eating disorder, and dyslexia. She understands the nagging heartache that sets in when one comes from a broken home. And she knows all too well what it means to fight for freedom from a painful past.

Sheri Rose lived with the pressure of trying to measure up to the popularity of her famous disc jockey father and beauty queen/singer mom. She was deeply wounded when her parents ultimately each married and divorced three times. She remembers as a child of nine-years-old, her father coming into her room, and with tears in his eyes saying, “I’m so sorry, Sheri Rose. Mom and I aren’t going to make it, and dad doesn’t know how to fix it.” Over time, Sheri became part of five separate families.

From paying her best friend’s brother to escort her to her high school prom, to battling what she calls the “Barbie Bondage” image, to the stinging words of a former English teacher who told her she was “born to lose,” Sheri Rose, at twenty-four, had yet to learn she had a life-changing date with destiny.

As her physical and emotional struggles led to thoughts of suicide, the grandparents of her boyfriend took Sheri Rose into their home. It was through their gentle guidance that she found her purpose in God. In spite of everything life had thrown at her, Sheri Rose emerged a woman triumphant, a daughter of the King. Yesterday’s trials have given way to a confident humility as she graces women of all ages wherever she speaks.

Today, her best-selling books include His Princess, His Little Princess, Love Letters From Your King, Prayers To My King, and the recently released, Preparing Him For The Other Woman: a Mother’s Guide to Raising Her Son. She is the founder of His Princess Ministries and travels throughout the country speaking at conferences to thousands of women and men alike. "It's not where you start that counts,” she told me, “but where you finish."

Recalling the memory of her father’s tearful apology, Sheri said, “No one taught him how to fix it. Men go into marriage just like women…loving their spouse. Men are taught how to get the girl, but they don’t know what to do with the girl once they’ve got her.” And today, she says, the world is into men-bashing, an act that furthers the breakdown of relationships. “As women we have the awesome responsibility to hold our men in esteem. A woman’s voice is a powerful tool and can turn the Titanic around, if we just will.”

During her visit to Evangel, Sheri Rose was generous with her time, her encouragement, her smiles, and her laughter as she autographed books and spoke with eager readers happy to share in her joy and triumph, and perhaps too, catch the blessing of the royal wave she rides upon. It was a wonderful scene. There was no sign left of the former over-weight, dyslectic, bulimic, troubled teen, only the confident speaker, author, and beautiful daughter of the King remains.

“I know how hard it is for us to look at our lives and think of ourselves as royalty,” she said to the small group of women gathered before her. “But the truth is, God is our King. He has called us out of the dark into the light (1 Peter 2:9). We need to look up to our loving Father. We are His Princesses.”

Posing for pictures, Sheri Rose grew as giddy as a child at Christmas in her zeal to share a photography trick she had learned. “To take a great picture, you’ve got to remember to hold the camera just above your subjects and have them look up, like this.” She held a tiny digital camera above her head and snapped a picture. “See?” A sparkling pageant smile leapt across her face as she shared the photo. The picture held a perfect pose. “Makes sense with pictures and with life, doesn’t it? We’ve just gotta look up.”

DJ Note writes from Eagle Point, Oregon.

I’m The Way I’m Suppose To Be