Sticks And Stones

By Mary Skoglie

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me."

Yeah, sure. And I'm a tall svelte blonde with a date every Saturday night!
The other day, I was reading a great book, called "Sitting In God's Sunshine, Resting In His Love" by Alicia Britt Chole. I came across a devotion about the fear of man, an all too common problem among, well, men! In it, Chole points out that God knows how much we often give too much power to others' opinions of us. How true that is! The One Whose opinion of us we should most be concerned about is the Lord. Yet how often in my own life, I have run to and fro, seeking the approval of so many--and many I shouldn't have even bothered to care.

When I was dating my ex-husband, he once felt compelled to tell me on our way to a church service how, when we first met, he had assumed I was mildly retarded! Not because of my personality, but because I have a slight speech impediment due to Tourette's, a brain disorder. My ex couldn't figure out why I was so hurt. While he sat blissfully enjoying the service, I sat in the restroom, bawling my eyes out for about two solid hours--and I am not normally one to cry!

When I was young, people could hurt me the most by telling me I was immature (which, in all fairness, I was) or that I was retarded or some very unkind versions of the above. I should not have listened, to my ex or to many of the others. But boy, did I! Yet as Ms Chole points out in her book:
1. The person that stands before us is human.
2. The One that stands behind us is God.

Wow! If only I had thought of that the night before my 39th birthday, and truly took it to heart, I would not have begun drinking.

I got drunk the first time because of humiliation and severe emotional pain, inflicted largely by a woman whose tongue ripped me to shreds. But it really wasn't her fault. The problem was really ME. The person spitting out the words, brutal though they indeed were, was a human, same as I. Life had been very harsh to her, and her tongue that night merely reflected some of what she'd been through. But instead of viewing myself as the beloved, though imperfect, child of God that I am, I soaked in the woman's words. Like water in a sponge, they permeated my very being. I let them, not God's love for me, sink deep into my heart, just as I had my ex's words that day years before.

I gave power to these two human beings that didn't belong to them. I gave them power to crush me. Yet still, it was NOT their words. No, the real problem again was me. I should have asked God how He saw me, and let HIM deal with my pain and humiliation. In the case of the aforementioned woman, I went on to become an alcoholic after she tore my heart. However, I'm now clean and sober 44 months as of this writing, and I'm so thankful to God for sobriety, and just to be alive! I was a binge drinker, which can be deadly sooner rather than later, and I was basically dying of alcoholism at the time I went into Celebrate Recovery. My goal with each drink was merely to get it down as fast as possible so I could get to the next one!

Today I am alive and well and growing in my relationship with God, Who considers me of such value that He was willing to let His Son die on a cross for me, and for all human beings, imperfect as we are. If I mean that much to Someone, I have no business committing physical and emotional suicide, but instead, living for God.

No matter what our past is, may God help us all move forward. May He help us all to see others and ourselves for what we are--human. Loved by God, and only human, each one of us. May we--may I--begin to give God the power only He rightfully has over me. The human tongue can be unbelievably cruel at times, as it states in most of James 3. May I allow God today the power only He deserves--the power to determine who I am and how I feel about myself and others.

May God bless us with more of Him this coming year. After all, "The person that stands before us is human" but "The One that stands behind us is God." (Page 163 of Ms Chole's book).

Be blessed today.

Mary Skoglie writes from Medford, Oregon.