The Mission of Parenting.....Part 2

By Rawly Glass

Parenting is much like food: What we crave or want most is not what we really need. I may crave the berry pie ala mode or that luscious smooth fudge with nuts, but it’s clearly not what I need to be healthy. Most parents want THE definitive answers to “How do I get my child to be a good child, comply, and do what I ask the first time, (or before)?” But what we really need is a change in our basic philosophy of parenting starting with our mission. Last month I proposed that obedience is a dangerous way to measure success as parents. Getting our children to obey is not the mission according to scripture.

As I was studying years ago I was surprised to discover something very different. That is what I want to share with you this month. Let me begin by challenging you to think what parenting is really all about. In your mind, what is the primary purpose or mission of parenting? I encourage you to think beyond obedience.

Is it just to protect these little people from the big, bad world until they are able to handle things on their own? Is it to teach them how to follow all the rules? Is it to socialize them into the truth?

Consider the following passage: “Go into the world and preach the good news to all creation.” Mark 16:15 Don’t brush the gospel commission off too quickly with an, “Oh yeah, of course, but our mission is more than that.” I would argue that our parenting mission IS simply and completely this: To preach the good news. Too often we consider this a “no-brainer.” Too often we assume our children will get this automatically. Too often we discount the role the gospel has as a mission for our lives and parenting.

Our text says “…to all creation.” Certainly, there’s no part of God’s creation that is more precious than the children in our homes. It is our sacred mission to make sure that they know God’s great love and acceptance, that He is reaching out to help them in their struggles, and that He will never leave them.

Whatever we embrace at the deep philosophical level as our primary mission of parenting will guide everything we do or say as a parent. These actions and words, whatever techniques, methods, and specific interventions, everything, must preach this good news to your children. This is our mission as parents, given to us by God.

Focus: Bad News or Good News?

Most parenting models are based on bad news:
· You can’t…
· Don’t…
· You should…
· You shouldn’t…
· Bad boy / girl
· You’re in trouble now!
· Shame on you!
· “How many times do I have to tell you …?”
· “How do I get this child to obey me!?”

But the true parenting model spelled out in the Bible shares the good news of salvation with our children. Obedience focus doesn’t do this. Insisting our children honor us doesn’t do this. Punishment orientation doesn’t do this.

Our mission as Christian parents is to share the good news.

The good news of God’s acceptance instead of judgment and condemnation.
The good news of Salvation as a free gift given through Jesus.
The good news of transformation.
The good news of reconciliation.
The good news that God isn’t hung up on our mistakes.
Our purpose is to share that we’re already good enough.

When the gospel is our mission
This brings into focus the Bible passage that gives Irresistible Parenting its name. “I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to me.” John 12:32 What draws you to someone? For me, I am drawn to kindness. I am drawn to peace. I am drawn to encouraging words, gentle tones. I am drawn to smiles and tenderness. I am drawn to people that believe in me, especially when I make a mistake. I am drawn to people that accept me. I am drawn to positive people. I am drawn to people that understand I am not a bad person even when I do bad things. As Proverbs says: “What is desirable in a man is his kindness.” Proverb s 19:22 I am irresistibly drawn to someone that loves me, no change required. Now, that’s good news!

Conclusion:
If our mission is about obedience or compliance, we will become bad news. However God has so much gospel we can share with our children. If we will remember our mission, it will keep us focused on good news. When our mission is gospel, our children will be irresistibly drawn to us and in the process meet a loving accepting God who offers them really good news – transformation, acceptance, and salvation. The thing I want the most for my children is to be reconnected to God. They will if my mission is good news.

So I am praying that God’s Spirit will strengthen us all to become Irresistible Parents.

Unlock the door to parenting power as you learn additional key concepts about the mission of parenting. Log onto my web site: www.relationshipsfirst.net.

Rawly Glass writes from Medford, Oregon. rglass@relationshipsfirst.net