An Abandoned And Abused Son

By Dave Norris

Like too many other people these days, I have multiple parents; specifically, two fathers. My birth father married too young and left too early for me to get to know him. Years later I was adopted by a step-father, who abused each of his children in various ways. I left home as soon as I could, an angry 17-year old young man.

Thirteen years later, after having gone around the block on my own several times, I surrendered the mess I had made of my life to the Lord. At first all went well, but then I was brought face-to-face with the fact that my relationship with God was incomplete. I had no problem loving Jesus as my older brother and the Holy Spirit as my ever present companion and helper. But, when it came to God the Father, that was another story altogether. To me, a father was someone who abandoned or abused me and I wanted no more of that.

A pastor who knew my situation suggested I separately meet with and try to restore my relationship with each of my fathers, neither of whom had I seen for years. After going through a dark night of the soul, I met with first one and then the other.

Both men were different in very many ways, but they each carried a similar load of guilt, shame and pain over the part they had played in my past. Both were visibly nervous during our time together, and greatly relieved after I forgave them of their actions towards me. I am sure both men could tell you a tale of healing.

Since our meetings, I have no strong relationship with either man. Too much time and distance separates us, but we call and speak whenever we feel like it. We are free now to do that.

On a deeper level, I have grown to know, love and trust God my Father for almost thirty years and that has nourished my soul in more ways than I have time or space to tell.

Beyond even the deep self-centered satisfaction that my relationship with God gives me, the greatest fruit of restoration is what my children enjoy. As a father of four I have called on my Heavenly Father for advice, wisdom and assistance thousands of times over the years. My children know I have had to do this and they have learned to do so themselves. In every situation He has answered my call for help. He has shown He is faithful to all generations. My fathers. My children. Me.

Dave Norris writes from Medford, Oregon.