The Joy Of Not Knowing

By Bob Hansen

Some time ago, an editor e-mailed to say that his publishing house would be taking the final vote on one of my book proposals that next Friday. At first I thought that having this information was a good thing, Later, I wasn’t so sure.
That event reminded me of my favorite childhood dentist appointment. Generally speaking, when I was a kid, I didn’t like going to the dentist. Now that I’m older, my perspective has changed. Now, I don’t like going to the dentist. Oh, I guess my perspective hasn’t changed that much.

Back to my favorite dentist appointment. It’s was my favorite because I didn’t know about it until it was time to leave the house. Innocently, I had awoken that day and prepared myself to go to school. That was when my mother announced that I would be going to the dentist instead. It was that surprise element, that thoughtful timing, that made the experience better than usual. Instead of worrying for days, I had but minutes until I was sitting in that dreaded chair. Much better. No time to worry.

Could this handy principle be applied to other stressful situations? What if, when making dentist and doctor appointments, no specific date was set? The appointment would simply be for “sometime in the future.” A person could go about normal life, forgetting about the appointment. Then, one day, the call would come. “It’s time to get those cavities taken care of. Be here in five minutes.” See the advantage? No time to worry.

This could be adapted for high schools and colleges. Why spend all that time worrying about finals? That date on the calendar needn’t loom large with black storm clouds. With this new system, finals would be announced on the day they were to taken. It could be in the middle of the semester. It could be on the first day. Since the date was unknown, there would be no opportunity to fret. Think how great that would feel. No worrying.

Another event that causes stress is weddings. The buildup to this event is one of the most grueling in the human experience. My new method will relieve even this stress. When you and your Sweetie become engaged, you simply agree to get married “sometime in the future.” Then sit back and relax. One day, when you least expect it, someone will call. They might be from the church or some government agency designed to coordinate such things. Regardless, they will simply inform you that your wedding will take place later that day. Only a few hours will remain for hand wringing. Much less total worrying.

Back to the editor who said they would be voting on my book. In the old system, as the day approached, I grew more and more apprehensive. That Thursday and Friday, I checked my e-mail every few minutes. Nothing came—no email, no snail mail, no phone call either saying I had again been rejected, or that I was about to become a famous novelist. Then weeks passed with no word. I tried to extrapolate a hint from the delay. Was it a good sign or a bad? P.S. In the end I was rejected.

All these mental gymnastics would not be necessary if only the editor had been more vague. If he had said, “We’ll vote on it sometime in the next several months,” I wouldn’t have known when to start worrying. Less worrying is good.
I suppose there’s another possible approach to the events of our lives. We could stick with the old system and replace fretting with something called faith. Of course this would only work if there were someone looking out for us. It would have to be someone with great might, though that would not be enough. Power could be a bad thing if it wasn’t accompanied by irreproachable character. This person would have to be fair and just and compassionate and loving. It would be possible to not fret, if only there were someone like that watching over us.
Oh! Wait! There is.

Bob Hansen writes from Chehalis, Washington. bhansen6@juno.com